Saturday, May 14, 2005

Live naked

Well Sarah graduated last week and the party at her parents pretty much turned out as written previously, and it was a great time. Then we rejoined the family the next day for mother's day and this lead to me beginning to wear thin with my surroundings, which is not a rarity when I'm overdosed with family. My wife's family is very high energy and they gush over everything and believe in LOTS and LOTs of encouragement. I am a pretty laid back person, not very affectionate, and I don't tend to drool on people with compliments about anything that possibly could be complimented. This is just some insight into why I can only have moderate doses of high energy people, conversations, and moments. This would also explain why after I have done a high energy drama, teaching, or any sort of entertaining I pretty much like to shut it down afterwards. Anyway, the week went by very quickly and it was filled with pretty much the regular hanging out, reading, and doing my usual work schedule. I finished reading "The Last Word and the Word After That," which bent my mind and pushed on emotional places I didn't know I had, all in a great challenging way. I've read a number of responses to the book online and it's sad how many people seem to have washed over the opportunity to be stretched and opened up to think more, because the book doesn't provide neat, happy, and comforting answers to HUGE questions. So many people bashed, ridiculed, and sadly missed the whole point of what Brian McLaren is hoping to do.

I only read a hand full of responses, because they only added fuel to my already overloaded pet peeve of the disdain for the arrogant, high society, know-it-all attitude that seems to be way too present in some Christian circles. Anyway, there were times I was reading and felt very scared and I wondered why and how I came to believe some of the things I have believed, which lead me to feeling overwhelmed at my responsibility to teach young people about the heart of God and His invitation to us. How can I teach something that seems to be always evolving and moving within me? This has lead me to a more focused week of strong conversations with our creator. God has been pretty direct, yet very gentle with me and more than anything I have felt an abundance of love in His teachings this week. I desperately want to continue to live in this naked state and, although painful at times, I am grateful for new learnings and for the way He is drawing me into greater dependence on Him.

Wallace D.

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