Pitt Stop

Churched by Matthew Paul Turner

2011-11-25T08:19:00.004-05:00

This book was a near perfect combination of hilarity and sincerity. Written through the eyes of his childhood, Mr. Turner reveals the absolute ridiculousness of how the church can work so hard and miss so badly in their approach to following God. I laughed out loud throughout the entire book, due to how well Mr. Turner tells the stories and because the stories captured perfectly the church I grew up in and the church I had my first full time ministry job in. It is obvious that the book was written from a good place, and not one of bitterness and disillusionment, which shined through and kept the laughs rolling. It is incredibly refreshing to see someone who experienced the full goofiness of the church, in its legalism and moral spankings, and still find Jesus to be the center of their life and more compelling than ever. I often felt like I was sitting at the dinner table with the Turner family as Matthew weaves through story upon story of how the church can create the wildest and most over the top bubble land you can imagine. The book felt like a Seinfeld episode for those in church world, everything exaggerated and completely ludicrous, and yet so full of humanity and honesty that leaves you thinking, "that's gotta be true, because you can't make stuff like that up!" The church needs writers like Matthew Paul Turner, and humanity needs them so as to see that Christians can laugh at themselves and recognize that, yes, we sometimes veer off course. This is where I would've liked a bit more from Mr. Turner, how did you turn the page in your faith? The last chapter, Benediction, let us know that he is doing OK, that he survived the holy mess, but we don't know what helped him get there. I would love to know how, who and what it looked like pushing through to the other side. You can laugh at your childhood, which is excellent, but tell me a little bit more about that small church where you found a beautiful, healthy community. Because Mr. Turner writes with such hilarity and humanity, I would've liked to hear that side of the story as well, and I can only hope it incoming in his next writing.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review

Fall is up

2011-10-14T10:34:00.002-04:00

I love the Fall, it is the absolute best time of year! Let's begin with the basics, I am bald, and so I get to wear hats, which is a way of pretending I have hair to style. Next, jeans and long sleeve shirts, just dang comfortable. I can hear my legs saying, "thank you for hiding us," because I think men's legs are best hidden, from everyone.

Coffee. There really should be nothing left to explain.

New life in death. The summer brightness gives way to the earthy colors, the cool wind seems to be inaugurating a fresh depth of life. The weather leads me to slow down, listen more, and inhale the crackle of Fall's ways. It's time for fireplaces, coffee any time of day, and blankets to enrich the evening slumber.

Finally, it is a time when I feel like I have to write, as if it's in my bones and they are calling to my hands to get writing and typing. Something, anything, just write. My sketch pad and journal seem to sneak out of my bag and crawl up on the table, and they flip open to a fresh page.

The coffee is on, things are looking up for the Fall.

Syrup is great on pancakes

2011-09-26T08:12:00.010-04:00

For my birthday dinner this year I had one of my favorite meals, pancakes and bacon. Breakfast for dinner has always been a fun thing, but pancakes and bacon seem great any time! Of course a key to the whole meal is great syrup. I find runny, thin syrup to be faux syrup. It needs to have some texture, and I need to know that it could stop a runner in mid sprint. That's real syrup.

Which naturally leads me to unforgiving and judgement.

Unforgiving and hardness of heart have been a running theme in my reading as of late, and so it has heightened my awareness of their realities in daily life. The absolutely brutal nature of how each of them can disect another person, and stiffen the person whose heart has begun to harden.

When someone wrongs us, hurts us, or just doesn't behave in ways we think they should, it seems like a thick, rich syrup gets poured onto the hands of our heart. When you get that kind of real syrup on your hands, licking just won't do the trick, nor will a quick rinse under water. The residue just lingers and your hands will have a stickiness that just won't go away. It's almost like your hands need to be power washed, as if to blast that first layer of skin off as well. Other wise, everything you touch seems to cling to you like a frightened cat.

Without forgiveness, genuine let it go forgiveness, everything just feels a bit sticky. Everything they say and do today, is now heard and seen through the echo and lens of yesterday.

To forgive takes some gut wrenching, soul work. It is staring at the cross that held Jesus and having an ever softening heart absorb the truth that ALL sin was killed there, back then.

"It is finished."

The only looking back we do is to the cross, devouring the hurt and pain of life, and the resurrection that means ALL things are made new. You are not that poor choice. You are found forgiven on the other side, invited to live in the new life offered.

Because syrup is great on pancakes, but it can make a mess of our heart.

Honestly Speaking

2011-09-21T14:27:00.004-04:00

Apparently it is very difficult to be honest, if I might speak honestly. Someone has a problem with you, they disagree with your ways, but of course you heard that from someone else. People walk away from jobs, teams, and organizations all while giving the lamest excuses, because speaking the truth means confrontation and confrontation means actually having to engage.

"We want to see change, we want to see things get fixed, and we want to recapture our values."

Ok, great. We can start by engaging those people and organizations that seem to be disappointing us or not meeting expectations.

Change usually doesn't take place if the problem isn't named. If you don't name the problem or actually deal with it, then you have just become a problem yourself.

Can we be honest?

Talk can be cheap, but silence when wanting change is a deficit.

Poke The Box

2011-08-17T23:16:00.002-04:00

Seth Godin's latest book, "Poke The Box," is pure awesome. One of my favorite sections:

Pick Me! Pick Me!

"The relentless brainwashing of our fading industrial economy has created an expensive misunderstanding. Creative people or those with something to say believe that they have to wait to be chosen.

Authors, for example, wait to be chosen by an agent, and then by a publisher. Then they agitate to be chosen by a media outlet so they can reach readers who will ultimately read their books. Get chosen by Oprah and everything takes care of itself.

Entrepreneurs often find themselves waiting to be chosen by a venture capitalist or investor. They need that selection in order to validate their work and to get started on actually building a business.

Employees wait to be picked for promotion, or to lead a meeting or to speak up at a meeting.

"Pick me, pick me" acknowledges the power of the system and passes responsibility to someone else to initiate. Even better, "pick me, pick me" moves the blame from you to them.

If you don't get picked, it's their fault, not yours. If you do get picked, well, they said you were good, right? Not your fault anymore.

Reject the tyranny of picked. Pick yourself."

Fantastic, short book with long lasting words.

Scales

2011-07-16T22:52:00.004-04:00

There are times when reverse seems like the only gear that works in my mind, and we all know that reverse usually ends with us getting stuck in the mud. But tonight was bit different. Grace has yesterday making tomorrow look really alive.

Typically when I workout or go running, I listen to teachings or audiobooks. Exactly what everyone puts on in order to fire them up to toss around some weights or be pushed that extra mile, right? Well, it works for me and it often fires the creative part of my brain into hight gear. With that said, I was in a feisty (translates to frustrated) mood tonight, and so I put on Bush's Sixteen Stone. That very well may be the exact opposite of N.T. Wright speaking about paradigm shifts in culture and how our eschatology informs our ethics, but it was what I needed tonight.

As "Comedown" was building I felt the scales and shards crumble off my heart. My run started with the memory of that one person saying that one thing to me which ticked me off and how now, years later, I have the perfect comeback. My run ended with thoughts of forgiving that person and tomorrow being full of life, not death. The life in knowing there is now space in my heart and mind for more creativity, more love, which of course means more God.

Less me, or maybe more of the intended me.

I'm positive there will be more N.T.Wright jogs ahead, but well done Bush, it was a nice change of pace.

That's BIG!

2011-06-30T08:50:00.005-04:00

Big, absolutely gigantic, and let me say again BIG!

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Colossians 1:15-20

Not only is that stunning and beautiful, but it is loaded with a mystery we can experience but not pin down. Lets listen to those expansive words again, "all creation, all things, visible and invisible, all things, all things, all things, the beginning and the firstborn, in everything, all fullness, all things."

And the church is the body of that? Seems like it should be a big church with a big heart.

Sunday Best

2011-06-13T09:19:00.004-04:00

I can remember waking up each Sunday morning as a kid, and grouchily wrestling into my "Sunday Best." You know, the black slacks, white button down shirt, and of course the flashy red suspenders. These were not the "proper" threads, but the ones I owned, which resulted in my mom being lectured as a poor parent because, "your boys don't have ties on, and those suspenders are too bold." God required us to wear our "Sunday best," which apparently meant itchy pants, stiff collars, and clip on ties.

I bring this up not for a wardrobe discussion, but because another topic has captured the water cooler crowd that involves a different idea of "Sunday Best." Heaven and hell, who is in and who is out. Orthodoxy (right thinking), who has it right, who is wrong and why Sunday matters. Books about heaven and hell are piling up on the book shelves, with the most recent books as a response to the first book and why the first author is wrong and this particular author is right. Some say heaven is full of surprises and there should be less talk about who's in and who's out, and more talk about who's invited and that how we live now is incredibly significant. Others say the Bible is clear that lots and lots of people will spend eternity in excruciating torment and punishment. The latter also claim that this belief is true orthodoxy and fundamental to Christianity. I will not wade into a specific stance, but I do have one really nagging question.

If thousands, millions or billions of people are going to suffer the latter, and the job of Christians is to "share Jesus," so that these heathens have some chance of "going to heaven," then how is it that an hour on Sunday morning is our best idea to accomplish this task? One hour, maybe a touch more, on one day is the passionate plea of the average evangelical church today. This group has blasted, condemned and furiously debated one man's book because they feel he takes hell too lightly. This group takes hell very seriously and they are claiming to be more passionate about people's eternal destination. Yet the vast majority of time, resources, and energy of the average evangelical church is spent on one hour, one day a week? This one hour, where what you wear, how you look, and what you may or may not believe could even dismiss you from participating in this Sunday service/gathering/experience.

"I want you to know God so badly that I am inviting you to join me later this week, not now of course, to sing songs that are really for those who believe this stuff already, and to sing these songs with lots of people who believe that you are going to hell."

Sounds like a fantastic time, when and where do I show up again?

Sorry if the sarcasm is a bit much for you, but I just wonder if our passion and desire for others to experience hope, complete love and everlasting peace might need some fresh looks. This has been boiling in my heart and mind because, as a pastor, my role is to guide others into the invitation. I am in the midst of this as well, so the question is just as much for me as for everyone else.

Is Sunday really the best we can do? Does Sunday get our best and all the other days are just practice until then? Is the week a recruitment fair for the big event? Or does Sunday stand as a day next to all the others where people are invited to follow Jesus? Does Sunday play a role, not one more important than others, but along side the others? Suggestions and push back are welcomed.

Calm

2011-05-27T22:17:00.003-04:00

In the midst of life picking up steam, running a bit faster, I have found God slowing my response down. My phone rings more, my email dings quite a bit more, and although my temperature occasionally rises, my response hums rather than screams. It seems that, and maybe this is my vocation speaking, people are demanding sharp responses to biting questions, yet the words that cartwheel out of my mouth are wearing slippers. They are comfortable, soft and seem to pad the tension rather than ignite it.

Example: lots of folks are on the hunt for firm stances and fiery defense on the topic of hell. I think there are questions behind these questions, but sometimes I think there is largely a desire to be right. As these questions are lobbed my way I can hear myself answering and engaging them from years ago... and it is rarely pretty. Today, I believe God is easing my soul, gifting me with patience, and so most discussions are short and filled with calmness.

I am learning that God is much bigger than I have ever known and with that, I am learning that He really doesn't need my smallness defending Him. I'd rather invite people to experience the bigness rather than having my smallness growling and brain wrestling people in an attempt to be right. Largely, because I find that "rightness" gets lost in the attitude of wanting to be right.

I am grateful that God is pushing the peace button on my soul, and I sure could use more and more of it.

In Grace
Wally

Spring(ing)

2011-04-20T14:06:00.007-04:00

Check out Ecclesia's new web site (look to your right, down the page a bit and find it under the label "Church"), and watch it grow!

Life is moving quickly and it is full of so much pure goodness! Sawyer and Eli are two wild boys and Sarah keeps me from infecting them with too much of my insanity, but it still creeps in. The house is up for sale, anyone want a great house two blocks from downtown Grand Haven, and a just a short jog to the beach? We are unsure of where our next home will be, but some time sleeping in a van down by the river will save us some dollars, right? You just buy our current house and we'll figure it out from there, ok?

My new position with Ecclesia is hopping and God is up to so much beauty and life giving. The faith community has stepped up and jumped in with fresh legs and huge hearts, and we are being truly blessed.

So keep springing Spring, in fact you can move a little quicker because it's still freaking snowing!

Full of gratitude
Wally

What do you think?

2011-02-24T08:12:00.003-05:00

This may sound crazy, but I am really excited for Lent. Lent, a time of introspection to wrestle with the things that are hidden deep within the soul. A darker time, that is symbolized by sacrifice. Sounds exciting right? The idea of taking a shower after becoming filthy works, right? The idea of getting things off our chest after being weighed down with such emotional toil is helpful, right?

Although the process does not make me think of smiling bunnies and laughing gerbils, I do look forward to renewal, restoration and the warmth of sunlight hitting the face of my heart.

I do look forward to simplifying, and to have that which I don't need, removed. That way I don't rely on the unnecessary. I look forward to feeling hungry, and not just for the substance of food, but for the substance of true life. The things that make you want to get out of bed in the morning and keep you awake late at night.

And I look forward to trekking all of this with a community of people, to not go it alone.

So how about you? What do you think about Lent?

Shift

2011-02-07T16:27:00.004-05:00

I have moved into the lead pastor role for Ecclesia, and so a new shift in life begins. Now it's readjusting the schedule and the rhythm of life, with Eli joining the family, Sawyer growing and getting more "energized," and the new work load sinking into place. It has always been a wild ride, and so a few new loops and twists just make for a grander adventure I suppose. Ecclesia is in a much more viable place financially, which was the goal, and the community has really grabbed hands and united in filling in the gaps. We can feel God's sweet breath on the back of our neck, and we're looking forward to all He has for this motley crew!

Feel free to join us for a Sunday gathering, 10:30am, and head over to the web site to see what we're all about. You can also listen to our messages on the podcast, www.thecrossinaction.com

Here's to the new rhythm!

Ubuntu

2011-01-13T11:04:00.003-05:00

Letting the words of Archbishop Desmond Tutu wash over me, as he explains the essence of a key word/way of the South African people: "One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu, the essence of being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can't exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can't be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality-Ubuntu- you are known for your generosity. We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole world. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity."

Let the waves crash over and over again!

Honesty

2010-09-20T15:45:00.004-04:00

In some recent conversations with a friend of mine, as we were planning out some teaching time together, we landed on something we thought could be helpful for the church community. We were talking through the rhythm and progression of the beatitudes and the danger of treating them as commands. The beatitudes are a slice of Jesus' sermon on the mount, and they essentially have Jesus announcing how the kingdom of God unfolds. My friend, with such great insight, pointed out that the closest thing to a command, within the beatitudes, would be Jesus inviting his listeners to be honest. It's not a command, but an invitation to be honest.

Just be honest about where you are.

The beatitudes are not something to accomplish, they are not a to do list to check off. This is an invitation to recognize where you are in life, and then humbly give it over to God, so that He can do for you what you cannot do for yourself. You can find a very similar phrase in the addiction recovery community. Interesting isn't it? Are we addicted to our ways? Are we addicted to our pride and are own strength pulling us through life?

So why do we have such a hard time being honest?

I have some thoughts, but I'd rather hear yours.

What keeps you from being honest?

Question about prayer

2010-09-13T13:07:00.005-04:00

With the latest financial realities of Ecclesia and the very real potential in missing this next paycheck as well, I have at least one question about prayer. But before I get to the question I want to share the four types of responses I have received in this time of need. 1) I/We will be praying for you. 2) The offer of meals, or some other very practical, helpful offer of assistance. 3) A monetary gift. 4) Silence. This leaves me feeling, both, IMMENSE GRATITUDE for the active participation of some and also a new frustration. The silence I actually understand, but for those who land in interaction number one, I must ask:

Praying for what?

I am asking very sincerely, because my mind goes to a couple of places, which I will get to momentarily. I have specifically come to you, have shared my personal circumstances, and you are going to pray. So I must ask, pray for what? I understand this sounds sharp, that is not the intent, but I am reaching for clarity and a bit of a challenge.

If the prayer is for my family's needs to be met, then some clarity is needed. The fact I have shared our story means that we are aware there is a need, as is God. So praying for our needs to be met takes me to these conclusions.

First, the prayer is that God will meet our needs, which He has chosen to do through his body, the church. So you are aware of the need, acknowledged that you are concerned, and have asked God to provide? With zero sarcasm I ask, does it fall from the sky? Or are we asking that SOMEONE ELSE be the provider? Where does the buck stop, so to speak? At some point, someone has to stop uttering prayers and possibly be open to being the answer to prayer, correct? Because not only has my family been praying for some time, but our entire Ecclesia family has been as well, so when does the body take a physical shape?

This tension has led me to examine the way in which I interact with people in need, and to consider how I offer and give prayer. What exactly am I praying for? Is the need before me something I can help relieve? Maybe not completely, but can I participate in alleviating this person's need?

Mercy (Eleos): Compassion for those who are afflicted AND an active desire to relieve their affliction. Compassion plus action.

In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus answers an expert in the law's question about how to inherit eternal life with a story. We know it as the Good Samaritan. This is where a neighbor is defined and at the end of the story Jesus asks, "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to this man?" The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."

Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

Tension?

Tension

2010-08-30T00:48:00.007-04:00

Wednesday night Ecclesia launched a program partnership with the Rescue Mission of Muskegon. The program is for underprivileged kids who were sent to summer camp for the first time and now can have a weekly program that provides them with an ongoing opportunity to learn about this God who created them, loves them fully, and desires to burst into every inch of their precious, little selves. We served a great dinner and the kids watched highlight videos from their time at camp, a few of the camp staff gave a devotional to encourage the kids to continue to seek all of God. The evening was wrapped and we said good bye and cleaned up. After most everyone had left, myself and Steve were gathering the youth together for our regular time of hanging out.

But the sounds of a handful of little kids came tearing down the stairs and into the kitchen, laughing and screeching. I looked at the little girl leading the pack and asked, "Hey little lady, what are you all up to?" Her eyes sparkle and her little smile stretches to her ears, "I was at the camp dinner and you said that if we didn't have a church, then this can be our church! Then you said, "Welcome home!" I felt my eyeballs trying to grab the tears from washing over them. "I did say that, and I meant it." "Well then," she said, "I ran home and got my friends and told them to come and see my new church!" After I handed out some high fives, I offered some of the brownies we had left over. Just then, a late arriver comes whipping around the corner at top speed, he catches my eye, and immediately freezes. "Hey, you're my mentor from school," he shouts at me. This little guy is who I was a Kids Hope mentor for this past school year. He runs over to me and gives me a hug, which was the first hug he had ever given me. "My friend said this is her new church, and she said this can be my church too." Now you're just not being fair God, the tears now jumping down my cheek like a kid on a slip and slide. He looks up at me, "Now that this is my church, can I have a Bible?" At this point I feel like there is a little man in my chest taking a bat to my heart like it's a pinata. My humbled tongue manages to droll out, "Of course, I'll run upstairs and grab you one," but he insists on coming with me. We walk into an office and I mention that it is mine, "This is your office? You mean you work here?" It dawns on me that he never asked what I do and I never told him during our school time together. "Yep, I work here." "That means this is your church to, so we can go to church together?" Dear God, my heart has dissolved, can I have another one? "Sure we can," I weakly answer wiping my soaked cheeks. We hop back down the stairs and he joins the other kids as they run around for a few minutes and then scramble out the door and down the street.

The ministry has never been more crackling, kids from all over the neighborhood are finding a home and a family. Sunday mornings are consistently absorbing kids from the neighborhood, but mom and dad are not in tow. This summer has been a whirlwind in terms of serving so many in need. A crazy amount of food was given to those who have none, a kids carnival was swallowed up by a neighborhood hungry for laughter and love, and countless prayers were blanketed over broken and hurting people. I never could have imagined my life playing out this way. I have the privilege of being a pastor to this beautiful community, and yet, two days from now the bank can't deposit my paycheck.

The church doesn't have the money.

It is a beautiful community, but their giving does not equate in dollars and cents. Their bank accounts are nearly empty and that is only a sliver of their needs.

I love this neighborhood, I love Muskegon, and I have never believed more in the church being the hands and feet of Jesus, so what does one do?

I have a loyal wife, a three-year old boy with endless energy, and another one basking in my wife"s tummy due to arrive around Thanksgiving that need provision as well.

Tension?

The Why

2010-08-10T08:54:00.002-04:00

Why do I do what I do? Why do you do what you do?

It's such an important question to ask in the beginning because there is a good chance it could get lost in the end. The posture of the heart leads to the placement of the goal. I've just been finding this bobbing below the surface of many recent conversations and activities.

Fresh

2010-07-11T20:59:00.002-04:00

The blog needed some freshening up, and being that my mind has been held captive by the speed of life a makeover is the extent of the freshening. I am speaking the next two Sundays and I am speaking at a camp all next week, so hopefully in the midst of that some fresh words and movement will spill onto the backlight of the blog. I do like the new digs though, how about you?

But Grace

2010-04-14T16:23:00.001-04:00

Chasing life and yet missing love

Running somewhere, but not sure which direction to go

Wondering if all this will end, but never beginning something that will forever last

Working for a reward, but never finding reward in the work

Alone. Confused. Desperate.

But GRACE...

Dreams

2010-04-02T23:20:00.004-04:00

It's Good Friday, which the name still feels a little colorful for a day that has such a thickness about it. It feels like a powerful inhale of all the assumed ways in which people believed the Messiah would enter, and then didn't. They wanted mighty and powerful, and He came lowly and serving. Ah, but Sunday.

Resurrection.

The curtain is torn and New creation is inaugurated . We're invited to dream of a new way and a new day.

I didn't laugh enough this past year. I dream of laughing more.

I dream of God working on me so that my work doesn't own me. I dream that the joy of resurrection will place the defibrillator on my smile. I want to laugh, be silly, and experience the creative spirit that I know is hiding within me.

This Easter, I don't want to just remember resurrection, I want to live it!

Great books & Music

2010-03-18T10:47:00.003-04:00

You can now buy some of the books and music that I think are game changers.
Go to the list on the right and shop away! Leaders are learners and learners always read, read, read!

Giddy Up!

Sent

2010-03-09T15:47:00.002-05:00

Our church facility will never have enough space for our entire neighborhood and community, but our community has more than enough space for our people who are the church.

Go

Introduce

Serve

Give

Sacrifice

Sacrifice is

2010-03-03T16:39:00.002-05:00

Painful

Powerful

Meaningful

Exhausting

Inspiring

Two-sided... if someone sacrifices, someone else must benefit. For someone to benefit they must first accept. Accepting requires humility.

Humility, eventually, leads to sacrifice and sacrifice is...

Gray is

2010-03-03T14:58:00.000-05:00

a color

a season

a feeling

a moment

an opportunity for light

Push

2010-03-02T08:11:00.001-05:00

There are days when it's as if life just seems to happen, nearly gliding.

There are days when I can see the steps before me, and life feels under control.

There are days marked by laughter, as if the whole day is smiling.

There are days, although I've been awake for hours, I feel like I'm wearing fog as a tight sweater. My neck has to work extra hard just to keep my head from falling.

Each day begins with a push by the Creator and yet I often allow the path before me to determine my outcome.

Remember the push.

Good question

2010-03-01T19:26:00.003-05:00

I'm looking forward to the release of the book, "AND," as it asks a very important question as well seeking to address the following facts:

"What is happening to the church in America? By all appearances, it looks like we are 'doing' church better than we ever have. In the past thirty years the number of mega-churches has increased from under 100 to over 7,500. In the past ten years the number of multi-site churches has increased from under 100 to over 2,000. By the numbers, these church movements enjoy the national platform, the national voice, and the resources to profoundly impact the Kingdom. In spite of the rapid growth of these prevailing church movements, why is the Western church still in massive decline?"

Breathing

2010-02-26T14:30:00.000-05:00

Finding starts with a search.

A search begins with desire.

A desire begins with contemplation.

Eventually we spiral into the act of a deep breath. Breathing is the acknowledgement of God. When life is heavy, when our shoulders are pushing into our feet, there is the need to surrender and take a deep... breath? Or to speak "God!"

Change

2010-02-18T12:28:00.002-05:00

The word that can be a gift or seem like cussing. "God is the same yesterday, today and forever," so the saying goes. I would have to say that God may not change, but that means we should. His relentless love, pursuit, and fathering of us ought to break down our pride, stubbornness, and selfish bent. Ouch. The loss of control, comfort and predictability seems counterintuitive doesn't it? If it's within my control and ability, then it might be without God? Change sure doesn't seem easy and it is often painful, but...

My son is learning that as annoying as it is to stop playing and to lay still to have his diaper changed, it is far more uncomfortable to have diaper rash and a butt covered in... well, you get the point.

Keep changing me Father, but could you gently pat some powder on afterwards?

A Million Miles...

2010-02-13T10:58:00.003-05:00

Donald Miller is one of my favorite authors, and his latest work "A Million Miles In A Thousand Years" only deepened that favor. Still with his unique writing style and self deprecating humor, but seemingly less entailed to appease the church crowd. Although the book is not written in any sort of Christianese language, it still lasers in on Don's own faith while subversively inviting the reader to evaluate how his or her life as an expression of their own faith. This is all done through the lens of story, more specifically the principles which make a great story. A Million Miles finds Don in a funk after the huge success of Blue Like Jazz and the moderate success of his next couple of offerings (although I personally found Searching... and To Own... beautiful). Now with writing deadlines staring him in the face, Don finds himself sick of writing about himself and unable to stop watching Oprah. A phone call from a couple of movie producers with an offer to turn Blue Like Jazz into a feature film begins a new chapter in Don's life. This chapter has him reviewing the story that his life has been, and is currently telling. Through this process we all learn together what a great story lived is like, and the book essentially becomes an invitation into editing our own lives to tell the best possible story. This is about self examination without self absorption. It's looking at our own life by seeing beyond just ourself. It captures the heart of Abraham being blessed to be a blessing, but without all the Christianese, which makes this book accessible to everyone. The book is deeply challenging and yet full of humor and beauty. I'm looking forward to Don's forthcoming rework of "To Own A Dragon," which is titled "Father Fiction: Chapters for a Fatherless Generation."

More or less Patient?

2010-01-27T10:34:00.004-05:00

My son, Sawyer, is two and a half years old, and he is wild man. There is one speed, full speed! He loves to run, not walk. When he sings it has to be loud, very loud! If we drive in the car for more than five minutes, he often falls asleep. Why? I think the boredom of sitting still drives him nuts, so he submits to sleep.

With a child that lives life at 120 miles per hour my wife and I have to parent at 121 miles per hour. This raises a question for me. Well, it actually raises endless questions, but there is one particular question that sits at the front of my brain: Does this help me to become a more or less patient person? You see, when I am with Sawyer everything is moving in light speed, and if the stars haven't aligned that particular day my patience light begins flashing quite quickly. But, if I am around other people they just seem to be moving in non-little, animal boy speed, and my patience light seems to malfunction. When I'm at the grocery store, maybe I'll stand in the longer line so I can study all the different kinds of minty gum, that way I'll make the best choice for my breath.

Have I lost my mind, or gained more of it?

Overwhelmed & Underprepared

2009-12-31T22:37:00.005-05:00

Those two words holding hands can lead to many a sleepless night, I can attest. As 2009 comes to a close and 2010 rolls in, I reflect on the year in urban church planting. Ecclesia had one crazy year with ups, downs, frowns and clowns. The ups, we merged with another church as a way of growing stronger and looking to make a larger impact. The downs, we merged with another church and watched people jump ship faster than those falling from the Titanic. The frowns, many of those people were friends and people we thought we would journey with for many years and experience God together. The clowns, we had an amazing kids carnival this past summer, as well as many other wonderful events, filled with laughter and people connecting and finding God in the midst of some goofy people!

I think it can be summed up with most of us feeling overwhelmed and under prepared. The need, in the neighborhood and Muskegon as a whole, is so great. The vast majority of the people that gather with us and call Ecclesia home, well, are a bit under prepared for the task at hand. To be honest I'm not sure you can be fully prepared, but we'll take all the creativity and helping hands we can get. In part, we have a small group of people who come from relative comfort and suburban church life. And then we have many more people who come from little, in terms of resources and development in the faith, and they are hungry for bread and the bread of life. This collision has left us feeling, yep, overwhelmed and under prepared.

So for 2010, we are desperate for God to hold us, power us, and lead us to be a new kind of people. We need the awesome Creator to unleash in us a creativity that ignites a people to know and love God with all their heart, soul, and strength. We don't need relevance, we need God's presence to create a new culture that changes lives with awe and wonder. As it's been said, relevance means someone else has been there and done that and we are just trying to keep up. No, we need God sized creativity to invite people into serving and loving those who have been set aside, left out, and put down. May we be a church where people can belong, believe, and become all that God has designed them to be.

It won't be easy, but it will be exciting and fulfilling. Come and worship with us, serve with us, and participate in God's kingdom moving in Muskegon, Michigan. We'd sure love you joining hands with us becoming the hands and feet of Jesus here as Ecclesia.

With Grace & Peace,

Obligation, Application, and Fascination

2009-12-26T20:13:00.005-05:00

Oh the perils of relationships. The newness and exhilaration of the beginning, the confusion and frustrations that can follow, and then being surprised by how fascinating and complex the other reveals them self each new day. Wrestling with the everyday, the monotony of a boring Thursday, and the pressure of a coming date. Everyone reminds you to treasure, to spend time with, and to be a good listener. Sometimes there is the feeling of obligation, that everyone is watching and you don't want to let them down. I don't want to feel obligated, I want to be fascinated! I just don't feel it today, so what do I do?

So goes my relationship with the Scriptures. I was so overwhelmed in the beginning, everything seemed new and fresh. At one point misunderstanding and confusion lead to a disconnect. The pendulum swings with study and intellect siphoning all the beauty and fascination out of the relationship. The pastoral occupation invites pressure of the, "Sunday is coming" mentality, or possibly Wednesday for the youth pastor. Still there are those moments where you can sneak away and have moments of quiet reflection and meditative bliss.

The relationship is far from perfect today, but I can say I have never been more in love. Now, confusion leads to questions, which leads to new discoveries, and that leads to a whole new experience of awe and wonder. There are times of raucous humor, moments of uncontrollable gratitude, and days where application is unavoidable with each small step. The more I understand that Scripture is not just historical but relational, I no longer see words but the character of the living God.

It's not about facts, it's about a Father.

I'm learning how to love better, because I'm learning from Love. The book of James puts it like this, "Do not simply listen to the word, but to do what it says." The word "listen" has it's roots in the word "Audit." If we were to audit classes in school we would learn for learning sake. You don't take any tests, or at least there isn't credit given at the end of the tests. So you learn for the sake of a big, fat brain. We don't audit scripture, we live and breathe it. It challenges and changes us from the inside out. This is a relationship that is growing, a relationship that seems to be renewed every single day!

This relationship has a foundation of COMMITMENT, no matter the highs or lows, we are interconnected and committed in love.

That we would inhale the Scripture and exhale the person of Jesus the Christ, who is for all the people.

Primal

2009-12-22T19:51:00.003-05:00

Now that the book is hitting the bookshelves it's time to get word out about it. This is the third Mark Batterson book I have read, and I can honestly say they just keep getting better. Although I did enjoy, "In a Pit with A Lion On A Snowy Day" and "Wild Goose Chase," his latest, "Primal" is his best yet. This book captures Mark's passion and flair for story telling like his first two, but Primal feels more practical. Mark communicates a growing passion for God, the church, and the Christian faith in an age when people just want to be "spiritual," whatever that means. Mark taps into the history and richness of the Christian faith while bringing a new flavor. For example, in the section "Seventy Faces" on engaging Scripture he names the one word he would use to describe the Scriptures, kaleidoscope, which struck me immediately. The idea that you can continually read the same passage, yet at different times in our Christian experience, and the scripture seems to be rotated and a new color and pattern shine into your soul. He pushes us beyond reading the Bible and invites the reader to meditate on it. As he puts it, "If the goal of reading is to get through the Bible, the goal of meditation is to get the Bible through us." Then he takes it a step further and invites the reader to put the Bible into practice, a much needed call to followers of Jesus today.

This book, to me, is a perfect blend of the old and the new. Rather than just question everything for question sake, Mark writes, "I think many of us doubt Scripture simply because we haven't done it. The way you master a text is by submitting to it. You have to let it master you." As a church planter in today's postmodern post Christian culture, I think he nails it on the head. Many young people want to question everything, but sadly do nothing about it. Or maybe just act in ways that communicate what they are against, specifically tradition, and forget to get around to what, or who, they are for. This book invites us to worship in heart, soul, and action, which seems to be the original call of Jesus. This is a book that inspires and gives us some legs to run with. It's about rediscovering or uncovering the beauty of the Christian faith with out attacking and tearing down all the tradition along the way. And on a literary note, I think Mark just keeps getting better and better as a writer with each book. I plan on rereading Primal again and then look forward to Mark's next serving. Last minute shoppers, I highly encourage you to head to randomhouse.com or your favorite book store and stuff some stockings this Christmas with Mark Batterson's "Primal."

The Depth of Doing (Or Exercising Jesus)

2009-11-02T08:33:00.007-05:00

It has been a season of learning for me, which I hope means having an additional dose of learning rather than having seasons of stupidity. I have had the incredible privilege to attend a few conferences, most of which came at zero, or very little, financial expense. I could easily be a conference junkie, and I have enjoyed the variety of ways I have been taught through these conference experiences. Both, through these experiences as well as just the daily exercise of what I have learned. I am finding that the depth of life is found in the exhaling of what I have inhaled. In simple terms, living what I am learning. James 1:22 puts it this way, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."

Clear, concise.

This not only challenges me each day, but it has also been the echo of my faith community, Ecclesia, which invites people to become the hands and feet of Jesus. The church is nearly two years old and we have had upwards of 200+ people gather with us on a given Sunday, and in the beginning there was four of us sitting in a garage wondering what the church will look like. recently we have 80-100 folks on a given Sunday. The days of over two hundred folks was actually the most difficult. Difficult in that so many people wanted to sit in church and be taught new things, little nuggets of feel good spirituality. I don't say this to be negative, but to bring to light what Ed Stetzer recently highlighted as "the biggest problem with the western, American church today." The church is full of pew sitters, those who make Christianity a Sunday event, and they live the other six days as a test of whether or not they have the strength to make it to next Sunday when they can get their spiritual bucket refilled. So what was the most common request, and exit excuse, we heard as a staff during those days? "We really want to go deeper, specifically in the teaching, we need to be better fed."

What is deeper than doing what the Word says? Believe me, I am someone who enjoys reading and carving away at the beauty that is found in historical and exegetical study. I can also say that nothing I have ever read has trumped the actual experience of doing what the Word says.

The adventure lived has far surpassed the dreams only imagined.

The greatest depth I have ever experienced has come from people I have laughed with, cried with, and served along side of. I am an introvert, which can be disguised by the gift for acting, storytelling, and the ability to laugh and be laughed at in all it's glory from the platform. Yet I get re-energized from solitude, reading, and the whisper of silence. It can be incredibly difficult to look out and see the least of these, step into their shoes, and love with the otherness of Christ.

It has to happen otherwise the body of Jesus will atrophy. I'm sure Jesus would rather experience arthritis and leg cramps from the service in which we do, rather than the headache we would be if only thinking big thoughts. My friend Rob, who happens to be our lead pastor, has experienced this within his love for cycling over these past two years. When I met him I learned he loved biking and I saw his pro-style bikes... sitting in his garage, not unused, but used little. Over the last 8 months he has shaken the dust off his bikes, as well as over 60 pounds from his body due to action. He moved affection and intention into action. He has never felt better and each ride grows his appetite for the next one. Reading cycling magazines can be helpful, encouraging, and motivating, but they don't substitute for the ride itself.

That our exercise of God's Word would be the depth by which we experience church. May our appetite never quite be quenched, but let it grow with each bite of God's Word. As the church, let's give Jesus some leg cramps!

With Grace & Peace
Wally

Right or Redemptive

2009-10-17T14:23:00.002-04:00

It always baffles me when we enter into discussion, and within said discussion, we move to a place of disrespecting and treating someone in an inhumane way, all because the end goal is we NEED to be right? I'm not a confrontational person, I do not care to argue and yet I truly enjoy great discussions. I love to debate things, which is a two way conversation. So when there is talking over the other person, raised voices, and tempered outbursts, I will choose to end the discussion.

I can say, you are right, if that comes to be. I'm OK with that. But in most cases, I would say that the point is to be redemptive. If being right means you devalue, disrespect, and dehumanize someone then count me out. I'll choose to lose. You can be right, just please don't treat another person as less than a person.

I choose redemptive conversation

Heartache

2009-10-01T22:17:00.003-04:00

So on the surface questions are being asked about the "hot topics" of today's culture, but underneath it is so much more. On the outside I am staying calm and just listening, yet my brain is peeling this banana and finding the mush of rottenness. They keep firing questions at me in rapid succession and the faster they come the more I feel my heart splintering. "Do they know what they are asking or are they just trying to sound educated?" Simultaneously my mind is trying to stay focused on their questions and yet it is shaking free due to frustration because they just don't get it. "Do you really want an honest answer or are you just looking to be cool in front of your friends?"

This has become a typical night within our youth ministry. Lots of questions, few answers. They're asking about relative morality but this is more about humanity, about love. Not Romeo and Juliet. Creator, Father, and daughter and son. My heart aches for truth. For TRUTH. That God would chip away at the surface and reveal a fresh, new perspective.

With

Grace and Peace
Wallace D.

No Kidding

2009-09-26T21:48:00.002-04:00

With Fall officially landing, it strikes me that I am stepping into my 14th year serving in the church. It was a little over 14 years ago that God invited me to share my journey in becoming a new kind of kid as a vocation. The idea of becoming a pastor was about as ridiculous of an idea as becoming an astronaut. But now I wonder if flying to the moon would be easier and less adventurous than being a pastor. Every day is unique and full of wonder, and laced with a thin strand of mystery. I must hand each day over to God, or else my needy, selfish hands will skewer what God intends for good. So here is to stepping aside daily, listening to the still small voice, and sketching the brilliance of God by way of words. Some day they may caress the paper and bindings of a book, or they may just glide across the back lit computer screen. They will always hover my heart and mind, teaching and prodding me to learn the way of the Father and experiencing fresh ways to become a new kind of kid.

Always learning
Wallace D.

Partnering with Parents

2009-08-27T09:37:00.004-04:00

Being involved with children's ministry, as well as youth, I have the privilege to rub shoulders with lots of parents. Parents with all sorts of backgrounds. Many single parent homes, step-parent homes, and a smaller contingency of first marriage, two parent homes. There are days where the word privilege would not exactly be on my mind when it comes to describing my interaction with parents. In fact, it would be quite easy to have a negative bent toward parents, to view them as the enemy, or to accept my role as that of the parent.

It is here that I have been feeling more and more challenged as a leader and pastor. Parents, regardless of circumstances, want to be good parents. Are there parents who really could give a rip? Sure, but they are the exception not the rule. So if the starting point is a negative bent toward the parents, then I would be starting with the exception and not the rule. I am dong my best to partner with parents, and to teach our family team to think in these terms as well. Parents are not perfect and more than anything they need encouragement and assistance. What if parents saw the church as a people of support and encouragement, rather than condemning or conflicting with? It is also easy for me to assume the role of the parent if the parent is disconnected. I am learning to start with an invitation to involve the parents as best I can before relegating them to bystander status. I believe this could be the approach for teachers or anyone involved with instructing, mentoring and educating young people. I do not set out to be a replacement parent, nor do I want to assume the role without exhausting all options in which to partner with the parents. The reality is the average church has 40 hours a year with kids and youth, and the average parent has 3000 hours with them. Whether for good or bad, the parent is the number one spiritual influence in their child's life. This makes ignoring, disregarding, or criticizing parents as poor stewardship of time and influence. It is crucial to partner with parents, assist them, and to champion the home as best as we can. If the home life is a mess we cannot cast it aside, or see our job as just helping the young person survive it. We need to champion the family and use our influence to impact the entire home. Is this easy? A most emphatic NO! Can it be messy? A most emphatic yes! But is it healthy? I believe so, because I believe in the family. Better yet, it is God who created the family and His love for the family drives me to love and believe in the family.

This is shaping and reshaping me,
Wally

Larry Crabb's 'Real Church'

2009-08-12T11:50:00.002-04:00

I must start by saying that this is a book that needs to be read in its entirety. Anything less and it would be easy to miss the larger message of what Larry is trying to poke at. I definitely enjoyed wrestling with this book and found myself feeling all sorts of things, challenged, depressed, irritated, challenged and comforted. Not necessarily in that order either. The first half of the book seems to be from a deep and dark place of discontent with the American, Western church of today. Larry spares no style or label of church as he pulls the rug out from under each one of them. He is not a fan of swinging the pendulum in any ONE particular direction, and he chops that tree down with brutal honesty. For the most part I think he is right on target and the church needs this feedback, BUT he also admits from the beginning that he does not spend much time in church and the churches he visits are Sunday pop ins. So he very easily could miss the heart or centrality of these particular churches. He also takes sharp aim at the wreck that is the consumer church, which he describes as people being addicted to themselves (for him it is being addicted to himself then). We want what WE want. Unhealthy for sure, yet this is very much front and center in today's American, Western church. BUT again, Larry has HIS way of laying out what HE wants in a church, which can be a little formula driven, in that the four things he wants seem to have to take place in HIS order and HIS way. For example, he wants community centered BEFORE mission, yet this dismisses the fact that a lot of people find the greatest connection points, and most meaningful, to be found in serving with and alongside one another. So does the order HAVE to be "spiritual theology," "spiritual formation," spiritual community," and then "spiritual mission?" I completely agree that ALL of these things should be present in a 'Real Church,' but that they also can be experienced together, mixed, but not necessarily ordered or formulated as Larry has them. With that, I truly enjoyed this book, and as a pastor, found it to be stirring in so many good ways. I would love to see the church in America, the West, change and move to greater health, and I think this book pushes us in a very positive direction. It is not highly practical and Larry does not lay out a specific game plan, but he does give excellent ingredients for healthy cooking. I believe if Larry finds more real churches, then he would still be less inclined to go, but it's because I believe he would be invited into a truth craving, formation applying, community centered and mission driven PEOPLE that are being the church. Which isn't found in a place, but is found in people, relationships, wherever and however they gather.

Clarity

2009-08-05T12:50:00.002-04:00

In the previous post you can read some of my queries, frustrations and wonderings, but here I just simply ask a couple things:

What is a Christian?

What is the church?

The guy/gal walking down the street would recognize this how?

Feel free to probe more of my thoughts in the following post.
Wally

Help Please

2009-08-05T09:52:00.006-04:00

There is a lot of emotions bottled up, questions swirling in every direction, and this results in a perplexed look tattooed on my face. I have served and/or pastored in churches that were small, big, filled with bells and whistles, and stripped down to light music with conversational teaching. The styles have changed but one thing has always been consistent: Others participating in the church has been a bit difficult. BUT, and this is a big BUT, the reasons why people have stopped participating, don't ever start to participate, or cut back on participating are relatively understandable. I say relative because they are still, mostly, excuses.

Here is where things are just really, really different and mind numbing to me. My previous experiences involved asking people to participate within a program that mostly involves those within the church, or doing small projects for those in the surrounding community. So helping with the youth and kids, participating in a small group, playing or singing in the band and maybe doing some greeting on Sunday morning. These seem to be the staples. So people are too busy or whatever it is, which, again is reasonably understandable. This leads to people leaving the church for reasons of not feeling connected, fed (whatever that exactly means), and something that has to with what they don't get. Truly, as much as it can be frustrating, there is some level of understanding.

So this leads to today, Ecclesia, and things are different. We can be found in the downtown area of Muskegon, which is very diverse in several ways, and our faith family is made up of a very diverse group of people. The area in which we are active is full of all kinds of very high needs, practical needs. People without homes, food, clothes and laced with addictions and brokenness. We have a Sunday morning gathering with music and preaching/teaching. But anything beyond attending that, so anyone who claims Christianity would involve taking care of people's most basic needs, which is not easy and can be messy.

But it is at the foundation of being human.

I know there are needs everywhere and they are all valid. But I'm wondering how you walk past your neighbor who is without food, clothes, or the most basic of needs because it makes you feel uncomfortable? So then we can go to the church that has needs, valid needs, but needs we can meet in ways that are comfortable. So you will drive out of the town you live in because it is messy and you will pull into a church that is cleaner and more comfortable, I should be OK with it?

As a pastor and a fellow human being, I understand it is not easy, it can be exhausting, and it pulls on every heart string.Yet watching God wash over people at the most basic of ways is the greatest reward one can participate in.

So when people sit in front of you and say, "We are leaving the church because we're not COMFORTABLE," it doesn't sit well. In fact it doesn't sit at all! It slithers around your neck and slowly chokes you without ceasing. "Are you a Christian?" The response, "Yes." Well then, I really need to know where you go from here? Reasons of attending Bible studies and being with people "like us," do not land. They crash. They burn. They suck.

I read my Bible and it does not make my life easier. It calls me to live. And I see the "discipleship" of those in the Bible as a place of sacrificing more, not less. It's uncomfortable to help people have food, a place to sleep, not be naked? Yep, it's not always easy, but seriously!

What is church? What does it mean to be a Christian? A list of belief statements? Bible studies that help us KNOW more? A place we attend and someone takes care of us? A group of people to do life with, but people like us?

I am not asking you to hang out with crazy youth or loud kids. You can, but I'm wondering if you can start by supporting us in sheltering people, clothing people, and feeding people. We would love to invite people into a different story that is not destructive. We're starting there. Because that is right in front of us. Too much to ask? You can ease your way in. Still too much? Oh, you're going to go to the big church. The one with good music, groups and studies.

Ok. You'll be praying for us. Thanks. We'll be waiting for someone else to be the answer to your prayers.

I need God's crazy love and grace because I'm bleeding here. This is very hard, but what can I do? Quit? Ignore it? Ecclesia is from God, but now we are looking for His body. Help. Please.

Wally

Different

2009-07-21T08:56:00.003-04:00

What would it look like to do something different today? Do something that breaks up the routine. Wake up 10 minutes earlier and go for a 10 minute walk. Listen to a completely different radio station. Talk to someone who you have almost nothing in common with, and ask them to share specifically about those differences. Let the unfamiliar assist in unveiling something new in you. Perspective, feelings, emotions, or ideas. Would that be enough, or is there something more needed?

I've become aware that although I may do one thing different, that difference quickly becomes the same. Try reading that again. I'm finding that the adjustment, or change that I make, stays within the same system and so routine quickly slithers back in. I might paint a wall, but I'm still in the same room. I'd like to get out and walk around a bit.

-Wally

Do you think it's gaudy enough?

2009-07-10T14:12:00.004-04:00

Geez, they don't want you to miss that do they, wow. My first book review will be of Larry Crabb's latest, "Real Church," so I'm looking forward to reading and reviewing for Thomas Nelson books. ------>

I think I could handle reading and reviewing for a living,
Wallace D.

The importance of Living

2009-06-01T07:59:00.003-04:00

We learn…
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we say
90% of what we say and do.

The Gospel is not about being informed, but experiencing a transformed life. We often talk about witnessing to people (verb) and the scriptures talk about being witnesses (noun) to the risen Savior. If we have heard something and we talk about what we've heard, we better get to living it or hypocrisy sits crouching, waiting to destroy. Please don't mishear me, I am all for being a people who share the good news with people, but we must partner it with action.

Giddy Up
Wallace D.

Dizzy

2009-05-26T07:30:00.005-04:00

I was reading through the last 5 years of my journal and I got a little dizzy trying to keep up with my ramblings. It's been an adventurous 5 years, there is no doubt about that. My journal started in California, which lasted three months, then Sarah and I sailed off to Michigan, and into Grand Haven for our next refining. A little over three years with Watermark, as well as serving as a consultant to 1st Reformed, so they could retool their youth ministry. I also worked at Panera Bread as both a prepper and then a shift manager. Out of the three jobs I was paid the most by the Reformed church, yet put in the least amount of hours with them (which was actually more than they originally intended me to serve!) The good Ole Reformed church taking care of the finances. Watermark and Panera taught me much and was great training for the next phase in life of becoming a dad, as well as partnering up with the Paterson family to plant a new church in Muskegon, Michigan (The deep).

Almost two years ago, Sawyer Dale Harrison blessed Sarah and I with his leap into the world, and he's been leaping, running and being all sorts of wild ever since. The boy is pure joy and has changed everything for us. Having Sawyer has forced me to grow up and show up as a leader. I feel as if I am getting better and better at being a dad, yet I feel like I have slipped as a husband (sorry Sarah, I've pinpointed it and am now working on that too).

The deep merged with another church, the merge was nothing short of insanity, and it gifted us a handful of amazing people. We also lost much more than a handful of people who wanted something far different than what we felt God was calling the church to be. We lost one staff member at the beginning of the merge, gained two more within the merge, then lost one of them seven months into the merge due to financial uncertainties. Rob, Bethany and Christopher Paterson along with Kimi, Roy and Caleb Zimmerman have become nothing short of family and those that make up the leadership of ecclesia. We have landed in the Nims neighborhood of Muskegon, Michigan, which is full of all sorts of diversity. Ecclesia, our new name, is what I call a beautiful mess. It is a people full of all kinds of beauty while swimming through a swampy mess that is our lives. We have homeless people, recovering addicts, those living in deep poverty, and families that are shattered into the smallest of pieces, all of which make up this amazing, faith community. Our denomination has dropped our financing and has asked us to step out in faith to be self sustaining. I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life, yet I have never felt more at home in God. I have to rely on the Father for everything, and although terrifying, I wouldn't want for anything less. My selfish, stubborn, and greedy ways rage against me nearly every day, yet God seems to be forever patient with me.

It's early Tuesday morning, I'm sitting in my office with a soft drizzle massaging the outside window and I'm dreaming of what might happen next. I wrote a book about growing up without a dad and the parallel it travels in me finding the Father God. Our church is a miracle and is on the brink of exploding into a wild movement. They both are in need of help. Neither will see the next step without God providing in ways that only He can. The book needs a publisher, which is nothing short of a miracle, and the church needs huge financial help.

To have nothing leaves us with nothing to manipulate God with. So here we kneel, stretching out our open and empty hands. Please God, send help.
Wallace D.

Exponential Conference

2009-05-05T09:00:00.002-04:00

Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend the Exponential Conference in Orlando, Florida, and it was such a refreshing, mind renewing time. It included one of my favorite speakers, Erwin McManus, and a new favorite in Franchis Chan, as well as many FREE books and resources. I got to run around Disney World's Epcot Center for free and eat at a few very tasty restaraunts, again for free. But beyond all that, the two things that really sat with me was time away with the ecclesia staff and listening to speaker after speaker talk passionately about relying on God to grow the church up OUT of the culture, rather than dropping a church into the culture. I was encouraged that it will NOT be OUR hard work, although important, that will grow ecclesia, but it will be our dependance on the Holy Spirit to move and lead us.

GOD IS GOOD, HE WILL PROVIDE AND WILL CONTINUE TO FATHER US TO MATURITY
Wallace D.

Catching up

2009-04-14T07:47:00.004-04:00

Life is on the hop and I feel like I'm getting some decent momentum heading into spring time. We at ecclesia have had a great time moving into our facility and making it home. We had a great neighborhood chili cook off and an awesome time of worship and celebration at Easter. Kids' Street is growing and the need for people who love seeing kids connect with God grows with it. Our youth, the Garage, have had a good year of growth and I love where we are heading to wrap up the school year. This summer and fall look to be a huge opportunity for all kinds of growth, and I'm looking forward to hanging with some of our students who desire to take things up a notch.

Sarah has wrapped up her Master's degree in counseling and her heart's ambition within that continues to beat louder and louder. Her desire to see people grow towards wholeness and health is beautiful and I'm excited to see the ways in which God is going to use her. Sawyer is a little man and his little happy feet are always on the go! He keeps us VERY entertained and always on our toes, which brings an incredible amount of joy to our lives. He's got a little basketball hoop where he will grab a ball and say, "Mommy, daddy, otch (that's "watch" in Sawyer)." He'll shoot, turn around and yell "hoop, hoop!" Funny little man.

I've really enjoyed some good books recently and have had some solid progress with my own writing, which is exciting. I would highly recommend Andy Stanley's "The Principle of the Path" and Kary Oberrunner's "The Fine Line." I'm in the midst of "The Blue Parakeet" and "Fixing Abraham," both of which I'm enjoying quite a bit. Within the Bible, I've really enjoyed studying through the birth of Kingship and watching leadership change hands and shape Israel's future, as well as walking through the early church in the New Testament.

I would say, for the first time in my life, there isn't a box around my life and opportunity abounds. Possibility seems prevalent and I'm excited for what is around the corner.

Grateful
Wallace D.

What's next?

2009-03-22T20:53:00.002-04:00

So what do you think should be some next steps in your life?

To get to where I need to be I'm sure there are some tweaks and adjustments to be made, so maybe your next steps will inspire or prepare me.

Wallace D.

Change

2009-03-19T21:32:00.001-04:00

It's not easy! I'm ready for change to stop changing so much.

But change is changing me
Wallace D.

Relevance

2009-03-09T07:47:00.002-04:00

Snippet from 'The Fine Line: Re-envisioning the Gap Between Christ and Culture' that really sat with me.

"Relevance is a tricky thing. We can't self-profess our way into it; we have to earn it. Relevance is something others believe about us, not what we believe about ourselves.

"Putting "relevant" on a banner or business card is a trendy thing to do these days. But it's nothing more than a slogan until others grant us this attribute. A church can say it is relevant and even believe it's relevant. But unless the surrounding community believes this, that church isn't relevant."

I'm six chapters in and I'm enjoying the read quite a bit, very fluid and concise.
Wallace D.

ecclesia online

2009-03-02T08:07:00.002-05:00

The website for our faith community is coming along nicely and you can now listen to podcasts and catch a good glimpse of who we are becoming as a faith community. We have a forums page where you can chime in, start and add to discussions so please stop on by, www.thecrossinaction.com

Graced
Wally

Reading & Writing

2009-02-20T09:39:00.004-05:00

I just wanted to share a couple of thoughts by Donald Miller, found in his book 'To Own A Dragon,' which shook up my heart like a snow globe. The way in which you would shake the globe furiously and then watch as the snow falls and drifts slowly all around the inside to create beauty. These thoughts did the same thing to my heart and what came sprinkling down onto the foundation of my heart was a purpose and passion I had yet to encounter.

"Some people find beauty in music, some in painting, and some in landscape, but I find it in words. By beauty, I mean the feeling you have suddenly glimpsed another world, or looked into a portal that reveals a kind of magic or romance out of which the world has been constructed, a feeling there is something more than the mundane, and a reason for our plodding. The portal is different for everyone."

"... we do not read books to learn, we do not learn to succeed, we learn because in doing so we experience something like the pleasure God felt in the act of creation. We discover His handiwork with Him."

Finding my place in the story
Wallace D.

Let's get Wild

2009-02-18T08:23:00.002-05:00

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only [Son], who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14)

Our great Father sent His son to dwell among us, with us, and this wild man changes all of history. The first fourteen verses of the book of John shake me, they overwhelm my senses, and I cannot sit still. The humility, passion, compassion and all consuming love of a Father. He gave His all that we might know Him, experience the fullness of life that comes by a life lived through the person of Jesus Christ.

"Full of grace and truth."

Nothing could be more striking, this way of life seems so contradictory to us today. Both, grace and truth, really? I see it, I read it, and yet I cannot comprehend it with my feeble mind. Yet God gives us His eyes to see, His ears to hear, so that we may experience life and life to the full.

My friends, it is time to giddy up!
Wallace D.

New title?

2009-02-10T09:38:00.002-05:00

Considering changing the title of my first book from "How Heaven Ruined My Life: One Man's Journey In Search of A Father" to "Fathered Into A New Kind of Kid: Breaking the broken home"

Any thoughts? Title suggestions?

Wallace D.

Which is easier?

2009-02-06T09:59:00.006-05:00

The paradox between following God and following whatever it is that makes life fun and frivolous. To know God is to follow God, because to follow Jesus is so far from just an intellectual decision.

I lose my mind when I am obedient to God, and I lose heart when I just learn information about God.

When I didn't know God, I did as I please, with only happiness and self gain as the end goal. This led to a bleeding echo bouncing off the emptiness of a hollow heart. This kind of echo leads to sleepless nights, slow motion days and life lived in regret and what ifs. Now, when seen by the outsider, it is a life of playing and laughing and looking to simply gain more. It has a certain shine to it, a sparkle that seems quite attractive. Reality waits in the echo.

Knowing and following God leads to serving others and looking to gain more for the sole purpose of giving more. It is about the dissension of self, for the rising praise of God. This will often lead to people hating you, criticizing you, and often leaving you for the false promise of greener grass. Yet, it is in this rejection where God is strong and full of comfort. For every person that finds God, it seems that many more walk away. God asks us to celebrate with the one.

If you want to lead, then get in the back of the line. If you want to truly live, then you need to die to self. If you want the best, then be with and serve the least.

The numbers don't add up and they never, ever will when using the broken calculator of this world.

I feel like a lunatic for following God, and completely insane for being a pastor.

Father God, please beat the hell out of my wants, that I may be left with Your will.
Wallace D.

Statements?

2009-01-27T08:39:00.008-05:00

Over the last 13 years I have been heavily involved, either staff or volunteer, with four different churches. And coming up with mission and vision statements has always been a grueling and intense time of focus. Some have come about on staff retreats or day long planning sessions in which statements were worked and reworked over and over. They made for some really great and powerful times, and they often set the coarse for the ministry.

As we started the deep, which has morphed into ecclesia, I really felt like God had placed a couple of things on my heart for our kids and youth. A mixture of feelings had my heart really wrestling with what God was doing in the lives of young people. One being the ever changing, uber challenging culture in which our young people walk. The other being a bit of dissatisfaction with statements (vision, mission or whatever) being so dreamy and serene, yet a far cry from any sort of reality. These things helped give birth to the new "statements" for our kids and youth.

Both Kid's Street and our youth start with a prayer from scripture: Colossians 1:9-12, "For this reason. since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his people in the kingdom of light." One key insight: The word knowledge, which is used twice in these verses, is very important. The church in Colossae, to which this letter is written, struggled with Gnosticism, which is the clinging to head knowledge as the thing to attain. The Greek word for knowledge is gnosis, but it is here where Paul brilliantly uses the word epignosis, which is to know in your heart or a heart knowledge so to speak (this word is also translated 'knowledge' in the English language, but obviously has a much richer context). He charges the church to know God in a personal, heart felt way which includes, but also exceeds head knowledge. It is our prayer that our young people will know (epignosis) God and His will, which will bear fruit in and through them!

So when asked what our "statements" are, we will point to each other's lives, which we also cling to 2 Corinthians 3:1-3, "Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendations to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."

So it will not be a dreamy statement that describes our church or ministry, but we will tell our stories and share our lives which should point to God. If they do not, then it is not a statement that we need to chase or tweak, but our very lives that need to be transformed by the living God. This has been a humbling time of ministry for myself and I know God is up to something beautiful. I know this because our kids and youth have been telling some magnificent stories with their lives, and God's light has been shining brightly for all to see. The young people have been challenging and encouraging the rest of us, and we must stand and praise only God for this gift.

Some "statements" should not be weighed down with inky clothes, they need to be exhaled and hang in the air by the lives we live.
-Wallace D.

Wounded Healers

2009-01-16T09:31:00.003-05:00

I recently traveled to another part of the state to speak with a middle school ministry about God Fathering us into a new kind of kid. I was once again struck by the dire need for wounded healers. Desmond Tutu coined the term, "Wounded Healer" for those who have experienced deep affliction, but are now called to bring healing to others who are suffering from that same affliction. It brought language to God's call on my life to be just that for those growing up without a father. It was evident after the night's program that God had moved in powerful ways, and as I prayed and chatted with several students and adults who have experienced a fatherless upbringing, I was again humbled and set on fire by the need for God to Father us.

One gentleman, who is an adult leader to the students, shared with me how his dad had committed suicide two years ago and how he needs God's fathering ways more than ever. He was also surrounded by students who are without a dad, and they cling to him for encouragement and direction, so it was clear that our time together was a divine appointment. Once again I found myself at home in God's invitation to be Fathered and I was struck by the poetic, unique way in which He writes it to each of us.

The three hour trek back to Grand Haven felt more like sailing than driving, and God's words felt more like a lullaby than a conversation.

The beautiful song continued Wednesday night as I was taking a few guys home following our own youth gathering. One of the guys shared how his dad walked out on the family when he was seven years old, and how the stories shared the last number of weeks, by both students and adults, put words to his desire to be Fathered by God. He then asked if he could share his story at youth, but through the new found scenery he finds himself standing in. He shared how the religion of his childhood has given way to a relationship that he didn't know was possible, but is now unmistakable.

What a privilege to share in God's ongoing story
Wallace D.

This is a test, right?

2009-01-09T08:40:00.005-05:00

As I was working out yesterday, I was spying on Obama's speech about the economy and then the follow up by the so called experts. One such expert commented by saying, "although Obama's plans seem all well and good, it misses the true problem. The problem is that Americans are only spending money on their needs and nothing more, that is not the way to prosperity." Now I understand the idea here, but how broken is our system then? Our system is built on greed and frivolous spending. "Buy in excess and with undiluted desire, or we are in deep trouble." Say what?

This only widens the divide between upper and lower classes, because the middle class is being asked to get more, which either sends them to the "upper class," or they lose everything in the pursuit of that next level.

Maybe it is with the residue of growing up in such a strong Dutch heritage that I think this, but how is stewardship, sprinkled with a bit of frugality, not a way to prosperity? I grew up around my friends chasing down EVERY SINGLE golf ball they hit in the field, so as not to have to buy even one more. West Michigan is in the top five regions of the United States in terms of millionaires per capita, and this is directly related to the Dutch way of saving and frugality.

Is this a test of stupidity?
Wallace D.

What's cooking for the new year?

2008-12-31T08:25:00.004-05:00

If the new year is anything like this past year, then your guess is far better than mine. Worldly speaking, I hope and pray that we will start to learn from all the ridiculous hell that is war and violence. When I first became a follower of Jesus I struggled so much with any desire to read the Old Testament, because it just felt... old. Now I shiver at how much our world mirrors much of it, and prayerfully the United States will use the scent of empire that we are becoming as a smelling salt and not a perfume.

As for my family, where to begin? Sarah wrapped up her Master's degree, she'll have it in hand in May, and so we are starting a whole new conversation on where to go from here. Does she work full time? Does she work part time? Does she work at all? Uh, for the sake of her sanity and our bank account, I would say yes but... baby Sawyer has morphed into hurricane little man. He is wide eyed, curious, and if you blink he will probably be streaking (both quickly and in the nude) out of the house with grand adventure on his mind. There are days of laughing to tears by way of his silliness and magical, crazy legs that never stop moving. Then there are the days filled with tears of fear due to the little boy who mimics his dad, and then reality hits me like a steel baseball bat that he truly looks to me for guidance. So I pray that I will gain an immense amount of wisdom, and that having a loving, brilliant mom will far outweigh a bumbling dad.

As for church? I wouldn't dare make any predictions there. As this past year has shown, anything can and probably will happen. I can, and will, plan things for the kids and youth, but with any sort of movement found on and in Jesus, being prepared and open for anything is the best "plan." I do hope to get back to writing and then find a place for my writing. My prayer is for growth, and that we will love and serve our King Jesus in ways that are true to who He has designed us to be. Happy New Year my friends.

Turning pages
Wallace D.

Favorite Reads of 2008

2008-12-24T09:03:00.002-05:00

Thought I might toss out some of my favorite reads of 2008 (what I read, not necessarily released in 08) for fun and maybe you might pick a few up for 2009. I am currently reading Rejesus and loving it. I'm anticipating the release of two new books by Donald Miller in the new year.

The Shack, by William Paul Young (I thought it was ok, but I put it on due to all the hype and many others have taken to it)

Wild Goose Chase, by Mark Batterson

Wide awake, by Erwin McManus

Surprised By Hope, by N.T. Wright

The Reason for God, by Tim Keller

The Prodigal God, also Tim Keller (both books are brilliant)

Jesus Wants to Save Christians, by Rob Bell & Don Golden

Jesus For President, by Shane Claiborne & Chris Haw (absolutely beautiful and probably my favorite!!)

Two books I read each year, To Own A Dragon (Donald Miller) and The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton).

Merry Christmas everyone
Wallace D.

Just being honest

2008-12-19T09:23:00.005-05:00

I'm frustrated to put it gently, concerned to say it lightly, and heart broken to say it clearly. I've read countless books on the life of the church, Christian living and all the trends that have come and gone and the ones supposedly on the way for the church. Yet it is my current reality that has me nodding most enthusiastically at two specific books (outside of the Bible of course, which is more controversial and wild than ever in our current culture): Jesus Wants to Save Christians, by Rob Bell and Don Golden, and Rejesus, by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch. Both, more or less, point out that there is a desperate need for the church, and Christianity as a whole, to get back to Christendom (Jesus the Christ as center of the church and faith), which will invite people not to consume religious goods but to GIVE their lives to Jesus and so GIVE their lives away for the sake of Jesus. So where do my current feelings come into play? As someone on a team that has planted a church within the last year we have faced many challenges, with the biggest probably being "Christians" who have desired to have the church be theirs to have, rather than having themselves act as the hands and feet of Jesus to those who are in NEED. I could live with those outside the faith leaving the church because we preach and live Jesus, but when we have "Christians" leaving because "Sunday morning isn't good enough for me," then I take issue. People have looked me right in the face, or more often, straight through an e-mail, and said, "I don't get warm fuzzies on Sunday morning, and I'm not getting fed enough by the messages," which I respond by throwing up a little in my mouth. Recently someone new to the faith, who was confused by all the leaving, shot back at those who have left with, "Why aren't you self feeding? Why aren't you reading your Bible and connected to God on your own? I feel sad that you lay all the responsibility on Sunday morning." Ummm... AMEN! And yes, people said "warm fuzzies and being fed!"

As someone who has spent the better part of 13 years serving in some capacity within the church, I see where I/we have missed the mark. Too often I/we have worried more about those people crying for more fun, cool, and fuzzy feeling producing things, which more times than not, trumped Jesus sitting front and center of everything. I expressed this recently at a youth pastor's round table, and I was shot down because "you should be satisfied with planting seeds with whatever ways work to get people in the doors, without going over the edge." I guess my question is, what kind of seeds are we planting though? If I sprinkle in 10-15 minutes of Jesus amidst an hour and a half of jack-assing around, did I really do my best, or plant the best seed? To be honest, I have never felt more confused and I would love to have help, input and wisdom in where to go from here. Many of the young people, both youth and 20 somethings, have expressed an interest to be a part of something significant and do something significant. They are weary of all the bells and whistles, YET, they are also leery of TRUTH and have little problem living with a pluralistic society and theology.

I realize that I can't fully explain my heart and thoughts here, as it is all still swirling around, leaving me scattered. But I hope to ask questions and I truly believe that the Jesus of the gospels needs to be reintroduced. What does that look like? Does that mean the church will actually shrink in numbers, but grow in depth and purpose? If so, what do pastors (myself) do to support and take care of their family? Where is the church, who is the church? Is anyone out there?

Where I'm at
Wallace D.

The Surroundings

2008-12-16T16:28:00.004-05:00

So we are in full swing with our Christmas series at ecclesia, 'EXTRAVAGANT.' I spoke on the 14th about God's extravagant forgiveness, focusing on the story in John 21 where Jesus reconditions Peter in his failures and abandonment of Jesus. I encourage you to listen in and then join us at Muskegon Catholic Central High School the next two weeks as we continue in extravagant ways. http://dev.outofthedeep.com/podcasts

We are having a Christmas party at youth tomorrow and then going caroling on Thursday in the Nims neighborhood, followed by cookies, coffee and hot chocolate at Olivet for anyone who wants to participate. We cap things off with a New Year's eve party for our youth, which we are having at Child Haven so they can celebrate with us!

Merry Christmas everyone!
Wallace D.

Hunger strike

2008-12-10T15:43:00.000-05:00

World hunger now affects almost 1 billion people. The number increased by about 40 million this year alone ...

Insane, absolutely insane!
Wallace D.

Hopeful

2008-11-29T11:37:00.002-05:00

I am hoping the end of 2008 is the beginning of so much more!

Hopeful for dreams dissolving into a better reality
Wallace D.

ecclesia

2008-11-10T07:37:00.004-05:00

Over the last couple of months the deep and Lakeshore community church went on an adventure together, wondering if God would do exponentially more with the two becoming a more substantial ONE. Our journey to this point has landed us together and we are now ecclesia: the cross in action. The term ecclesia is Greek for: the church, or a gathering of the called out, which we felt captured what was at the core of who we are becoming. We spent this past weekend doing an ABCD training, which is Asset Based Community Development. This maps the community in which we participate, and asks questions about what the community is like, what sorts of things they do like and what they want to see changed. But it is not for us to come in and "fix" things, but ask the community what their gifts and passions are, and invite them to partner with us in uniting the community anew. It was a fascinating couple of days and taking some time on Saturday to walk the neighborhood and knock on doors was quite a learning experience. So with that, the journey takes on all new challenges and many more adventures to come. There is no way anyone could have guessed that within the first year of our planting that SO much would be flipped upside down and inside out. God continues to amaze and befuddle me with His grace and sense of humor. Be on the lookout for a new website coming down the line, www.thecrossinaction.com, and feel free to join us in this grand adventure that God continues to create and expand. We gather at Muskegon Catholic Central High School, 10:30am Sunday mornings, and we are looking to slide into our own space in the next couple of months just a half mile around the corner from the school, right smack dab in the middle of the Nims neighborhood. ALWAYS something crazy and exciting going on with ecclesia!

A wind of change is a blowin
Wallace D.

Got it all

2008-11-02T17:07:00.001-05:00

No need to wonder which candy bar to get... Sawyer snagged them all trick or treating! Well done little bat boy!

All sugared up
Wallace D.

Tough Choice

2008-10-23T18:19:00.004-04:00

I really like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, then Watchamacallit kind of calls out to me, but I cannot forget about the fruity goodness of Mike N Ike. It's a tough choice and I really feel pressed with what to do! You trouble making Pay Day, you were hiding, and now you to would like to go home with me.

Divided
Wallace D.

Sabbath

2008-10-19T07:44:00.005-04:00

Genesis 2

1 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.

2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested (ceased) from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

The Sabbath

12 Then the LORD said to Moses, 13 "Say to the Israelites, 'You must observe my Sabbaths. This will be a sign between me and you for the generations to come, so you may know that I am the LORD, who makes you holy. [a]
14 " 'Observe the Sabbath, because it is holy to you. Anyone who desecrates it must be put to death; whoever does any work on that day must be cut off from his people. 15 For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death. 16 The Israelites are to observe the Sabbath, celebrating it for the generations to come as a lasting covenant. 17 It will be a sign between me and the Israelites forever, for in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day he abstained from work and rested.' "

Footnotes:

Exodus 31:13 Or who sanctifies you ; or who sets you apart as holy

I've been reading up on Sabbath rest for the last year, on and off, and there is much great reading on it. As for practice, I completely suck at it. I believe it will soon be a cuss word in our culture. It is far more than a "day off," especially because the average American uses their day off to catch up on work around the house or other work related activity. Rest? Nope. Different kind of work? Yep. "he rested from ALL the work of creating that he had done." (emphasis mine, maybe then I'll find it)

I'm tired
Wallace D.

Lost and Found

2008-10-03T22:00:00.004-04:00

The more and more I get lost in the scriptures the more and more I seem to be finding myself. I find myself when I get lost giving myself away. I have bounced around churches, serving in ministry for the last 13 years and have wrestled with what God might have for me. I have never been more uncomfortable and comfortable than I am right now. Uncomfortable in that each day is new, fresh with God doing something that pushes me and He cuts through my heart with the needs of others. And yet comfortable with a faith family that craves that sort of faith adventure, and they embrace me in a way I have never been embraced. Whatever box I have previously found myself in, it has been torn down and I feel free. God has stretched me and I have found new strands of my being. I can feel tomorrow being shaped and I am beginning to see what could be. It's humbling and refreshing.

Grace & Peace
Wallace D.

When good is bad?

2008-09-26T10:39:00.002-04:00

Here is a thought from the book Jesus for President, which I have been kicking around. The book is great and I highly recommend picking it up.

"It's the beautiful things that get us. Perhaps the greatest seduction is not the ANTI-GOD, but the ALMOST*GOD. Poisonous fruit can look pretty tasty. Thats what is so dangerous about ideas like FREEDOM, PEACE AND JUSTICE. They are all seductive qualities, close to the heart of God. After all, its the beautiful things we kill and die for. And it's the beautiful we market, exploit, brand and counterfeit. WE FIND OURSELVES POSSESSED BY OUR POSSESSIONS... and enslaved by the pursuit of freedom. Nations fighting for peace end up perpetuating the very violence they seek to destroy. Serpents are slippery and slimy things. Most of the ugliness in the human narrative comes from a distorted quest to possess beauty. COVETING begins with appreciating blessing. MURDER begins with a hunger for justice. LUST begins with a recognition of beauty. GLUTTONY begins when our enjoyment of the delectable gifts of GOD starts to consume us. IDOLATRY begins when our seeing a reflection of God in something beautiful leads to our thinking that the beautiful image bearer is worthy of worship."

So does good have an expiration date?
Wallace D.

Shake the status quo

2008-09-15T09:01:00.004-04:00

I love to see the status quo shaken and a fresh vision and mission come pouring out. The deep is in the middle of an interesting shake up (merging with another church community) and a few of us had the opportunity to attend a day conference with Alan Hirsch, and he is all about shaking things up. There is much going on and much to do, which is far more fun than just a lot to talk about or wish about. That our actions would be full of humility and mission.

Shaken
Wallace D.

Peace Beyond Understanding

2008-08-05T10:21:00.007-04:00

So I sat at my usual table, drinking coffee and reading my Bible when God invited me to exhale the truth found within the black ink absorbed by the pages. An elderly lady named Theresa, I assume in her seventies, sat down next to me and asked if those who commit suicide go to hell? After the truth of her words passed by the daze in my frozen eyes, I realized this was not a hypothetical question. This was the bleeding of her heart. She explained that she and her husband have separated, and the loneliness that she is experiencing has caused a pain she doesn't believe she can bear. The insecurity, confusion and lack of purpose she is feeling are not relegated to the young. In fact, her age leaves her feeling that much more defeated. I answer her question by saying that it is not for us to decide who goes to hell and who does not. I then share with her that suicide is accusing God of making a mistake and that our pain is bigger than His healing love. As the words come out of my mouth I breathe a prayer that they fall on her with compassion and love. Her lips form a cracked smile and her eyes, though tired, tell me that she understands. She asks me to pray for her. She reaches out a shaking hand, I gently clutch it, and as I close my eyes I hear God whisper the word 'peace' into my heart, and so I speak that very word out loud. "God that this precious child of yours will know your peace, which goes beyond our understanding. May your love shatter the pain and cover her heart with your grace." She stands and informs me, although it is only 6:20am, it has already been a brutal day. She then smiles and says that it will now start over, because God has placed us together in prayer over her broken heart.

The truth of this moment has changed me, and I thank God that He chooses to use even me. "Thank you Father for your love and the truth that your peace is far bigger than our brokenness."

Stripped
Wallace D.

Mentoring An Elephant

2008-07-16T10:09:00.003-04:00

This past Sunday, as the deep continued our discussion on planting roots in God, I had the opportunity to look at the family life and how mentoring an elephant can help guide us. By that I shared a story I had read from one of my favorite books, on how an adult male elephant will mentor a young male elephant into how to utilize his elephant uniqueness. The strength, aggression and size of an elephant allow for protection and provision, but without proper direction an elephant can become violent and destructive. So that gives a glimpse into the family life, and how important it is that we give our families what they NEED more so than what they WANT. In Deuteronomy chapter six, God continues his decrees and commands on how to live with Him and we find that God wants us to pass these ways on to our families. "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." In other words, ALL THE TIME. For this to take place we need to be with our families, to give them the gift of us, our time. Many things offer to raise our families in today's culture, but God has offered us the opportunity to be led by Him. Our faith family needs us to be us, to give the gift of who God has designed us to be. Our spouses need us to be married to them, to give them our best and to forever date them with an expectancy for greatness. Our kids need us to parent them, giving them our time and attention, so as to encourage, discipline, instruct and love them to their Father God. They need us to be holistic parents, not just the "friend parent" or "cool parent," but the whole parent which requires our time.

To listen to the full audio, go to www.outofthedeep.com and click on the podcast. We are having an incredible time in Seyferth Park, and we will continue our time together this Sunday at 10am, so feel free to come hang with us and stay for a great grill out afterwards.

Rooted
Wallace D.

Vacation

2008-06-20T09:37:00.004-04:00

The family, including Sarah's parents and siblings, recently went away for a weekend to Mackinaw, which was a great time for all. We camped, rode bikes around the island, ate fudge and enjoyed the escape from the everyday routine. Sawyer had a blast and did great with the three plus hours in the car, both there and back. He had his first ice cream cone on the island, which he was supposed to share with Sarah, but only left her to clean up the mess on his face. I tried to have a talk with him about sharing, but he slept through it and then argued that his nap counted as a time out. Great vacation and great memories made with the family.

Wallace D.

Something to think about

2008-06-20T09:34:00.001-04:00

1. Out of 6 billion people in the world, 1.2 billion live on $0.23/day. While the wealthiest 1 billion have an average income of $70/day.

2. 1/2 of the world lives on less than $2/day.

3. More than 1 billion people are without safe drinking water while Americans consume 26 billion liters of just bottled water/year.

4. Every 16 seconds someone in the world dies of hunger while 2/3’s Americans are considered overweight.

5. Americans spend more annually on trash bags than nearly half the world does on all goods combined.

6. The average new home size in Ireland-930 sq. ft; U.K 815 sq. ft.; Japan 1000 sq. ft.; U.S. 2349 sq. ft.

7. 2 billion people in the world have no electricity

8. 22 million died from preventable diseases in 2001–10 million were children.

9. 4/5 American adults are high school graduates. 1/4 children worldwide go to work instead of school each day.

10. 8% of people own a car in the world; 33% of American families own 3 cars.

Fathered into A New Kind Of Kid

2008-06-03T10:36:00.004-04:00

Head over to www.outofthedeep.com and listen to the podcast as I share about God fathering us into a new kind of kid! This is also a snapshot from my book, 'How Heaven Ruined My Life: One Man's Journey In Search of A Father' which hopefully will find you soon. You can also subscribe to the deep's podcast through itunes.

Being Fathered
Wallace D.

Schedule: past, present and future

2008-05-14T13:09:00.004-04:00

I truly enjoyed the Festivul of Faith and Writing at Calvin College, and the best take away was the people I met and the time spent with them. I spoke with a few publishers and my manuscript is currently being dissected with the hopes of some good fruit from that. Also from the past, Sarah, Sawyer and myself had a great time in Florida and just enjoyed hanging by a pool while soaking in the warm sun. Sawyer LOVED playing in the pool and didn't really want to get out.

I'm currently preparing Kids Life for the summer, creating our next steps with Child Haven, and preparing to teach in the gathering in a couple of weeks. Sarah and I (mostly Sarah) are also in the middle of putting in a new kitchen, which has been a huge blessing. Much of it is done and this week should put the final touches on things. Jim Duer, Barry Brugger and Sarah were the main architects, and the combination saved us a heap of money!

The future has me looking forward to teaching at the deep on June 1st, where we will look at how God is fathering us into a new kind of kid. This has been a huge passion of mine and I am really excited for how God has been preparing my heart and moving me into this time. Then the following weekend has the in-laws taking the whole family for a Mackinaw vacation, which should be a great time.

Peering through the past, present and future
Wallace D.

Person to Porcelain Evangelism

2008-04-27T10:11:00.007-04:00

After arriving in Detroit to fly to Florida, I used an airport bathroom where I found a "Christian" track left on each urinal. I of course took one, because I had to know how I was going to find the Lord after, or during a time of relieving myself. The track read, "From the desk of Jesus: The thing I want most is for you to spend eternity in heaven within a mansion I have built just for you. All you have to do is say these words..." This is where it asks you to say out loud that you are a sinful person, then ask Jesus into your heart, and you will go to heaven and have your very own mansion built by Jesus himself. You, on the other hand, have no responsibility but to skip around and wait for your number to be called, then you can check into your mansion where you will spend an eternity in some sort of resort called heaven. Is this the best we can do? Impersonal, get all you can gospel, with a great prize in the bottom of the cereal box. Now, I know God can use any method He so desires to pour out His amazing love and grace onto people, but a peek into His word and a look back at history and it seems that His favorite way is through relationships. Which looks more like person-to-person, not so much person to porcelain. Well I'm off to 85 degree weather and lying by the pool, while dreaming of my porcelain mansion in the clouds...or something like that.

They call me Pastor of Pee?
Wallace D.

Politics, Publishing and Parenting

2008-04-16T08:20:00.003-04:00

I have to say that the book "Jesus For President" is absolutely incredible, and I love the boldness and obedience of the authors. I highly encourage everyone to pick it up and read it with a very open heart to what God might want to take apart, put back together, and renovate within you. It's heavy on poitics but from a third perspective, following Jesus, which is really challenging.

I head to the Festivul of Faith and Writing tomorrow, which I am really looking forward to. I love learning, and from all I've heard and come to understand about this Festivul it should be a great time. Reading and writing changes me and helps me articulate my thoughts in such wonderful ways, so I am looking forward to growing in many areas within the art of writing. On the eve of the Festivul I was contacted by a great publisher, and they want to meet with me about my book. So I would very much appreciate your prayers as I sit down with the lead editor tomorrow morning about next steps.

Writing a good portion of my book in the months leading up to receiving Sawyer, I felt God healing my past, infusing my present, and preparing me for the future of parenting. I am grateful for it all, and although it wasn't always fun, it has been incredibly rewarding. Sawyer is an amazing gift, and he brings so much joy to Sarah and I in so many different ways. Sarah is brilliant at blending her love for Sawyer in cuddling, caring ways, while always guiding him along beautifully. It is a joy to watch them together, and it leads me to praise God for His many blessings. The little man's smiles are disarming and could make the toughest looking guy crumble (Big Trace you are sooo guilty).

Here's to the next phase of life my friends
Wallace D.

Hmmmm?

2008-04-08T08:26:00.002-04:00

Snippet from Jesus for President that is knawing on my brain,

"Who needs a Creator when we can sculpt mountains?"

"Who needs a Great Physician when we can heal ourselves?"

"Who needs Providence for food when we can clone animals for food?"

"Who needs a Savior when we have a four hundred billion dollar defense shield?"

"Who needs a Deliverer when the empire has become a democracy?"

"Who needs a God when we are worthy of worship ourselves?"

"For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal human beings." (Romans 1:21-23)

Insert the sound of brain shivers here
Wallace D.

New

2008-03-27T10:19:00.002-04:00

Music: Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings (Counting Crows), Spring ep (Jon Foreman), Into The Wild Soundtrack (Eddie Vedder)
Books: The Reason For God (Tim Keller), Jesus For President (Shane Claiborne, Chris Haw)
Movie: Into The Wild (now on dvd)
Church: The deep is still tracking through Nehemiah (it's been sweet)
Writing: Pimping book one, beginning phase of book two
Teaching: Nehemiah chapter 7 on April 6

That's the latest happenings and the things I am really enjoying right now. Sarah and Sawyer are amazing and we are enjoying the ride.
Wallace D.

Mr. Big Nathan

2008-03-18T08:38:00.004-04:00

I highly encourage you to go to www.outofthedeep.com and click on the podcast to listen to our community pastor teach on the church's call to Biblical justice. Nathan Beals joined the staff of the deep last October and has been serving Muskegon with such a passion for renewal. We are incredibly blessed as a church to have a very diverse team, which has led to such a diverse dynamic in the ways we are present in the community. I invite you to track with us as we continue to walk through the book of Nehemiah and see the ways in which God is moving us to be present in the community. Then maybe you could shoot Nathan an e-mail thanking him for listening to God's call on his life, and his challenge to all of us to listen and ACT on God's call to justice.

Thanks for being the church Mr. Big Nathan
Wallace D.

Seeing and Hearing

2008-03-06T09:52:00.002-05:00

So each week as we chase after God in Kids Life , we often have some people who peek in on us as they physically work out (we meet in a fitness center). One gentleman in particular has been watching us since our preview gatherings in November. Intrigued and moved by WHAT the kids were learning and HOW they were learning, he began to HEAR what they were learning. This man went from SEEING Kids Life as a ministry to others, to now EXPERIENCING it as a ministry for himself. The kids greet him each week, and there have been weeks where kids have given him there crafts and art work as a gift. Two weeks ago this man handed me a check and said I really BELIEVE in Kids Life and what you all are doing as a church. This man came to the Omni to work out physically, and God's movement through the deep has him working out each week holisticaly (mind, body and soul). "LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME, AND DO NOT HINDER THEM, FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD BELONGS TO SUCH AS THESE." -Jesus-

Awe struck
Wallace D.

Dedicated

2008-02-26T08:36:00.005-05:00

On Sunday we had Sawyer dedicated, which was apart of such an amazing morning of celebration for our young church. It was wonderful to have many friends and family join us for a morning that also included the celebration of four baptisms and the commissioning of a deep member into the ministry.

It has been a wild week and a half for our family, Sarah is recovering well from surgery, and we appreciate all the prayers, meals and shared time given by so many. I have been a bit discombobulated and I realize how much structure I tend to move with, by means that it has been up in the air lately. I also realize how much Sarah does in a given day and how much her parents give to us with their time and love. We are very blessed and are so grateful for the deep as well as all the friends who have joined us in our recent juggling.

If you want to listen to the dedication from Sunday, just go to the website www.outofthedeep.com and click on the podcast. You you can also watch the baptism video by going to the T.V. icon on the site. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support, we hope to hear a good report from the doctor on Wednesday, and then continue the celebration we started on Sunday with much more to come from the deep.

Grace & Peace
Wallace D.

Blessed

2008-02-08T08:22:00.000-05:00

Reflecting on how the new year has started and how much life has changed since this past summer, I can't help but feel extremely blessed. My time at Watermark was such a refreshing time of learning, growing and being prepared for what was to come. Of course I would never have known it at the time, but God continued to chip away at my many rough edges and fit me for my deep bathing suit. Panera helped in shaping new areas of leadership, and taught me to see the church in a new light from an old perspective. Sarah and I took a big leap of faith in leaving Panera and the bi-vocational world for full immersion into the deep. God has completely provided through friends who have stood in the gap for us, fought for us, believed in us, and desired for me to work from my strengths since day one. Team deep has worked very hard, yet Rob has always reminded us that God wants for His church far more than we do. So we will not manufacture anything by doing, but God will grow His church through us being who He has designed us to be, and we will praise God through the gifts and talents placed upon us. Our creativity is largely expressed in who we are more so than what we do, without neglecting the latter. We have done things and failed, shook our heads in recognition of our mistakes, then laughed and celebrated as God invited us into something new. I work very hard, yet enjoy more time with my family than ever before. My wife brings such balance to my life, loves me in new ways each day, and my son keeps me young and silly at heart. This is my blessed life, may God get all the glory and praise.

Blessed
Wallace D.

Current Happenings

2008-02-01T09:58:00.000-05:00

I recently finished reading The Shack, which was a pretty good book. It had its ups and downs, with alot of the conversation and writing being ups, and some of the fiction aspects being downers for me. The book is getting a lot of really good press and it comes highly recommended by many, so it's worth looking into, if you enjoy reading.

We wrapped our Fortune Cookie Faith series at the deep and are starting into the book of Nehemiah this Sunday, so I highly encourage you to come and dive in with us. We also launched an online Bible reading/prayer/conversation piece to our web site, where anyone can join us in reading different books of the Bible, as well as walking through different areas of prayer together. This has already been a great forum for dialogue, growth and encouragement. Kids Life is really starting to gain traction and a good rhythm, which is really exciting. My favorite aspect is the potential for what will take place beyond Sunday morning, as well as what is already taking place. We will be diving into the youth aspect in the next couple weeks, which also is really exciting. The deep started a partnership with Children's Haven this week, which is a place that takes in those from birth-17 years old who are neglected and/or abused. Meeting with the lady in charge on Tuesday was great, and she said that the biggest need is having men who will love, mentor, and positively influence the many boys they have. I could hardly sit still when she was explaining how we can help serve them, as this is something I have been praying for. Talking with the few youth we currently have in the deep, we will be gathering together to read and discuss the Bible, pray and then spend time sharing God's amazing love with the Kids of Children's Haven through relationship. So that's a good snapshot of our "youth ministry," as we will be diving into God's word through reading and prayer, then proclaiming it through relationship and serving.

On another note, I recently had an article I wrote picked up by a pretty sweet magazine, which they will publish online and in their leadership newsletter first, and hopefully grow from there. I'll let you know all the details as I get them, so it's a great step in my writing and I'm pretty excited.

The family is amazing and that's the happenings
Wallace D.

What is Hovering?

2008-01-23T07:59:00.000-05:00

For some time now I have had the topic of transparency/vulnerability hovering around so many conversations. Conversations with Josh and Jeff about the importance of friendships being two way roads. How we have experienced relationships that have been either give or take, and then they fail or stand still due to the one-way road. Conversations about what it means to be a pastor, a teacher, and a leader, but to miss out on being a learner. Not a head learner but a relational learner. Moving from pastoring, teaching and leading from up front, to pastoring, teaching and leading from along side of. All the while learning to be pastored, taught and led by others in humility. Talking with family about how not giving love is hurtful, but not being able to accept love leaves one lonely, hard hearted, bitter, and thick with pride.

Hovering around these many conversations is transparency and vulnerability. Watching the few men I grew up around, neither one of these was an option because they are seen as weak. To be transparent was NOT manly, and to be vulnerable was to act as a sissy or a baby. Most of my friendships growing up stayed in certain categories (sports, fun and light) and never left room for a detour in discussion. They were manageable and nice. Joe was the exception; we never left a stone unturned in our friendship. But that was the exception. Later on, as I began ministry, I again saw the "strong man," the leader and teacher. Standing up front, being bold and taking charge. Then came a wave of change in the church, at least from my viewpoint, where pastors were invited to be transparent. A new generation was looking for something more and people were invited to sit at a window that peered into a pastor's life. It was refreshing and it felt honest. But then... there was transparency for the sake of using an experience or a story to turn on the tears, or to pull the listener's heart strings. We've now introduced manipulation and guilt to control relationships and/or church leadership.

Over the last few years I watched one of my favorite speakers consistently invite friends, family and those who cared about him to not just look through a window into his soul, but to participate in the changing of it. Working along side him changed me, because he desired to be changed and to live in healthy community. It was the addition of being vulnerable, allowing people to speak truth into his life and to suffer with him so that there will be a bigger and better celebration in the end. I saw the difference between just letting people see your warts, and inviting them to dig down to the root with you and carve them out. If one was a greenhouse then to be self deprecating might be a window, transparency is to clean the window for clear viewing, and to be vulnerable is to open the door with an invitation to help garden. It can be dirty in the soil, it can get hot and exhausting, but the beauty on the other side is completely worth it.

Being vulnerable takes trust, honesty and has to be a two way street. It changes leaders and leadership. It grows relationships and friendships. It takes faith and commitment.

Wallace D.

On Writing

2008-01-17T09:05:00.000-05:00

In a recent conversation about the Bible, how each individual approaches it and processes it, I did my best to wrestle down an explanation on why writing is my processor. Let me first say I love teaching, it’s not a job, it’s one of the ways my heart breathes. I love it and it scratches an itch in my brain that carries creativity and humor. I feel alive communicating the new things that I’ve been learning as well as the things God has been storing inside me. Maybe with the right medication, or focus, I will become a great speaker. But currently, my mind can’t stay in one place long enough to carry on just one conversation. I often drift into several conversations, except they’re all with the same person, and I find myself rambling along and leaving the unfortunate person on the receiving end completely lost. “Was that a story about what you had for breakfast, or did I hear you say something about your Aunt’s cat getting her head slammed in a door?” Sorry, somehow one thought merged with another and then I remembered a funny story that I wanted to say before I forgot… uh never mind. There are times I’ve communicated well in teaching, and there are many others where I’ve spoken too fast and made brutal right turns in thought, which often left the audience with brain whiplash.

But in writing things slow down for me, and my brain seems to work the kinks out. My soul seems to grow fingers and they massage the keypad with the fluid passion of a classically trained piano player. I lose track of time as thoughts and feelings pour out of me that I didn’t even know I had. Words come to mind that I’ve never spoken aloud, and scripture will whisper into my ear almost audibly. If I’m at a coffee house, I often find myself looking around wondering if anyone else heard what was just spoken. I feel the warmth of being home, and I sense a purpose that is unmatched in anything else I do. The chaos, which can so often torture my soul and keep me awake at night, seems to fall asleep itself when I am writing. I find myself worshiping God with an intimacy and passion that cause tears to crawl out of my eyes without my knowing.

I do hope and pray that my writing will find publishing, but I don’t write to be published. I write to worship God, to process the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I don’t even write because I want to, but because I have to. Writing is the language of my heart and most often the best worship I have to give.

Wounded Healer

2008-01-07T08:49:00.000-05:00

As I continue to learn from the life that God has blessed me with, I am growing more and more grateful for God's healing presence in the grittiness of difficult circumstances. In a speech to South Africa amidst the strain of apartheid, Bishop Desmond Tutu challenged the people to use their position as victims to be a way of ministry. He described it as being wounded healers. To see their circumstances as an opportunity to minister to others, rather than a place to complain from.

This past year I became a father, and nearly every time I look into my sons eyes I think of my dad. He was killed when I was four years old, and I have but a few small memories of spending time with him. Looking through the lens of losing my dad, I worship God very intensely as He fathers me, and I grow in gratitude for the amazing mom I have been blessed to have. I thank God for a joy filled second mom and the most amazing dad by way of in-laws. God has provided for me perspective. I see that God has placed before me the opportunity to be a wounded healer. My heart gravitates toward the broken home, those growing up without a dad. I feel the presence of God move me to love with such passion and a desire for others to experience God's limitless love. I think of Paul, the New Testament guy, and how his life preached. I imagine that he wouldn't have to say a single word, but to flash his severely beaten and often imprisoned body, and that would preach beyond words. In a very literal sense, Paul was a wounded healer. In the very worst of circumstances he sang songs of praise and worshiped God when it would seem completely understandable to complain. Paul's life, his body, they proclaim a living and loving father God. Johnny, a friend from the deep, has lived a life laced with brokenness, addictions, and abuse, yet he stood before me yesterday and proclaimed that he is blessed. I watched as he stood at the doors of our church gathering and greeted people with a God engraved smile, and proclaimed to all that he is blessed. My friend is a wounded healer to many, his healed life preaches God's grace.

I have before me the opportunity to be a wounded healer, or I could be an arrogant victim. Mark Batterson says, "Someday we may be as grateful for the bad things as the good things, because the bad things helped prepare us for the good things." Is it easy? Absolutely not. But I awoke this morning with the gift of life, a life that can be lived as a wounded healer for the glory of a living God. My pain can be used as someone else's gain. What a gift, and what an incredible father God we have.

That I would live a life that preaches
Wallace D.

Looking Back Living Forward

2008-01-04T09:39:00.000-05:00

So as I look back at 2007, I smirk at what was and all the ways God awakened me to how measured my thinking often is. I've learned that there is no such thing as big prayer requests and small prayer requests. God must chuckle, or maybe frown, at how we put measurements on everything. God gave Sarah and I a son this year who, thankfully, is much more like Sarah than he is like me (especially in the looks category)! At a little over four months old he does seem to be a bit of a goofball, much like me, but his smile and laugh could make any photographer a brilliant artist, quite the opposite of my photogenic qualities. Parenting is one more example of how amazing my wife is, and it has showed me another beautiful glimpse of how God is Fathering all of us.

This past year brought the deep (new church community) into my life, which encourages my faith in the church. I love what God is doing and I am grateful for the team and faith community that has taken me in and believes in me. I am learning more and more where I can best serve as a shepherd and storyteller, and the areas where my best contribution is in giving leadership away. God has healed much of my past church experiences, as well as brought to light some new appreciations that I probably blocked out due to frustration and hurt. Looking back, Metro was a place of huge growth and change. The friendships made continue to be of so much encouragement to me and my family. The church gave me a salary and allowed me room to grow as a leader, to which I am very grateful.

This past year brought the end to my career at Panera, which was three and a half years of all kinds of lessons learned. I was able to see the church through new eyes and experience leadership in such a fresh way. As crazy as it is, Panera helped show me where I best contribute in leadership, and I was overwhelmed by encouragement as I left.

A few, of many, prayers for 2008: There is a house next to the Omni Fitness center that I love and believe God wants for us. In some capacity, I see it being a great place of ministry. Publishing for my first book, which I feel is the best ministry gift God has given to me at this juncture. I truly believe this story is laced with encouragement and ministry far beyond my feeble imagination. Opportunity, and wisdom within the opportunity, for my brother-in-law, whom I believe has the talents and gifts to make an impact on people and culture far beyond his imagination. I would enjoy the talent he has in his little finger, yet I would rather stand next to him, pray for him, and watch art get redefined.

Just a few thoughts and prayers afloat for 2008
Wallace D.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T10:28:00.000-05:00

Hope you all had a great time celebrating the incoming of 2008 and may the year bring newness and freshness to all! I'm excited for all the possibilities and adventures that will come.

Grace & Peace
Wallace D.

On praying

2007-12-17T10:06:00.000-05:00

Reflecting on how God has been shaping and reshaping how I pray, I have awakened to this note. A few years ago I often found myself making the comment that I would pray for people or situations when presented to me, only to have them or it slip my mind as I walked away. Then a friend made the challenge to pray on the spot, or in the moment there is recognition for a need. This was challenging and very helpful in moving me to a new place with prayer. More recently I have been listening, both to the voice of God as well as my own words as they exit my heart and mouth. This has led me to another thought. How many of my prayers, or the things I feel led to pray for, am I in position to be a part of the answer to? Last week as a friend of mine asked for my prayers with her family and for herself, I blurted out to her that she could have more than just my prayers. Recognizing that the statement alone could sound stupid or arrogant, I explained that some of what she was in need of would come in the form of love and support from others (why would I or we not be found as the "others"?). I found it ridiculous to say I would later pray for her, or even pray at that moment for someone else to respond to the need, when I was not only capable of, but presented with the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I guess it really hit me when she asked if our church would also pray for her, because much of what she was in need of, was for THE CHURCH to wrap around her. I understand that this is not always the case, and so presenting the needs by way of prayer was and is still very important. But I wonder how many times some prayer requests are presented to us so that God can use us as the vehicle in which He answers the prayer? In listening to God's voice, as well as my own words in prayer, I am seeing how there are times when prayer is just an excuse for abdicating responsibility to someone else. Or how prayer can be categorized as just well wishing for someone.

How would you react if you cut yourself, went to the doctor for help, then the doctor looked at the cut and said she would pray for it to be sewn up? As for me, I would look at the doctor and say, "prayer answered, exercise your skills and sew it up!" So last week, as I was listening to a favorite song, the chorus struck me, "Separate love from addiction, they're not the same." Just as well, I need to separate prayer from well wishing for they are not the same. Maybe you have found yourself just "well wishing," or maybe you have been on the receiving end of someone just "well wishing" for you. That we would learn to separate prayer from well wishing, and given the opportunity, live out what our hearts and mouths speak.

Wallace D.

Advent Conspiracy

2007-12-06T08:25:00.000-05:00

I have recently updated my "visit and support" section to the right, and I want to briefly highlight Advent Conspiracy. This is a coming together of several followers of Jesus who are proclaiming: "Advent Conspiracy is an international movement restoring the scandal of Christmas by worshipping Jesus through compassion, not consumption." The website has resources and information on how you and your church can get involved with sharing the love of Christ rather than purchasing ourselves into debt. I first heard of the idea last Christmas as Rick McKinley and the Imago Dei community decided to take all the money they would have spent doing the usual present buying, and they used it to bless the Portland community as well as putting it towards building fresh water wells in in other parts of the world.

Since Sarah and I have been married we made the decision to just do stockings for each other. In fact two years ago, our stockings seemed to get lost in one of our moves, and so my big gift to Sarah was new stockings with Mr. and Mrs. Harrison embroidered on, which started something new for our family. As God continues to grow us, and with the addition of Sawyer, we have decided that whatever money we spend on stuffing our stockings we have to at least match that in giving to those in need. We will be giving to the Belmont Foundation for sure, and then figuring out where to go from there. I feel so incredibly blessed to have Sawyer growing up knowing that Christmas is about our loving Father placing His son to live among us and changing everything forever. That we will gather as a family and share our stockings sure, but that Sawyer will share equally in giving with his family to others.

Earlier this week, Nate Beals took a few of us through Missions for Area People and we got to meet a few of the people we are partnering with, along with learning more about how we can care for those in need. We have such an incredible opportunity to be a blessing to the Muskegon area, and I am so grateful for the ways in which God has been melting and molding my heart within the process of launching the deep.

I hope you will check out some of the support sites to the right, and consider giving and participating in celebrating Jesus as the center of Christmas. That we will be apart of changing our culture from being consumers to being givers, which starts with you and I.

God is good
Wallace D.

Launched

2007-12-03T08:44:00.000-05:00

The deep has officially launched into weekly gatherings, which is a pretty sweet experience. What I find really cool, is looking back at the impact and involvement we have had in the community well before any Sunday gathering took place. I enjoy seeing everyone, or at least the people who stay a little later on Sunday, but for the last several years I have been doing something with the service so "gathering" is really a word play for the "post modern" dictionary. It is awesome for people to slow down and gather with others and sing songs of praise and have the Bible translated and/or taught to them for challenge and refreshment. From what I heard, yesterday was a wonderful time of gathering and it is really exciting to take another step forward as a community. I was hanging with the shorter people we call children, and we had a great time learning and discussing how God turned on the lights (you know the whole creation thing). It was great to have Chris and Jim, as the denominational powers, come and celebrate with us and really show their support. They have been awesome in so many ways throughout us getting started, so it was fun to eat and share stories with them, both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon.

The weather was incredibly supportive of our first gathering, you know all the freezing, blowing snow and sleet. I actually found that pretty humorous, and knew that we would celebrate and have fun regardless of the crazy elements. So I guess we start all over again for this week. My biggest challenge is setting up Kids life with as much simplicity as possible so our volunteers share their gifts, but are not run into the ground. We want to have Sunday morning be great, but recognize that this hour is not the end all. We will enjoy high fives, hugs and shared life and then maybe have a little programming mixed in. I am happy to say that the kids had more to do with how yesterday went than I did. I just made sure kids were safe and as engaged as a group of hyper-active kids can be. They sang, they danced, they shared a few thoughts, and then I read from the Bible. We all made light switch covers, which could remind us that God has turned on the lights, and then we teamed up for a light/dark relay.

It is an incredible blessing to be on a team with Rob and Nate, and we'll continue to walk in faith as God blazes a path in which we will do our best to follow. I guess this time of year it's more that He is plowing a path for us and we'll try not to get to distracted throwing snowballs.

God is good
Wallace D.

Christmas Presence

2007-11-29T14:11:00.000-05:00

Well this is the week of launch for weekly gatherings at the deep, and there is a sense of excitement all around. It has been like nothing I have ever been apart of before, preparing for weekly gatherings while trying not to lose focus on the big picture of community presence. So our initial series is a good fusion of vision, with some soulful worship while communicating our value of being Jesus to our community. This is where we get, "Christmas Presence," and will unpack the presence of Jesus on earth, the presence of the Holy Spirit in us, which then sends us out to be a presence in the lives of those around us (the surrounding community). I have been at the beginning of three other church plants, one a year into it, one nine months in, and another that never made it past week one, but this has been so much different. First, inviting people to be apart of the core, not attenders, but core people who want to serve rather than be served, is such a different mind set. There were two people from our mother church that came, and two families that came from our grandmother church, so it has pretty much been a parachute drop for Rob and Bethany. Then it can't just be asking friends and family to stop in, or help out, because there is a diversity factor that you have to keep in mind. Muskegon is one of the most diverse cities in the state, racially and socio-economically, and that presents plenty of hurdles to hop. It's made me rethink a lot of what I have previously done in ministry and how I approach the newness of the deep. The needs and challenges that face the community in which we are serving is intense and much broader than I have encountered in the past. Serving, loving, and belonging to the less fortunate, in the past, pretty much consisted of mission trips to other states or countries. Now I am mildly embarrassed to know that there is such a huge need and cultural mosaic that has been ten minutes north of me for the last three years. The action steps of many of the books I have read the last several years, has been waiting a few miles away from my house. So I now find myself on a team and in a community that does not need my programs, but needs my heart, hands and feet in serving the most basic of human needs. My family lives thousands of dollars under the poverty level, determined by the state of Michigan, yet we live quite well off compared to those we are seeking to do life with. I'm pretty sure we had more people come to our preview gatherings and special events asking for money rather than tithing it. Church has changed, it had to, and my family and I are stepping out in faith in a whole new way. Some of my prayers have been answered, and I now know I wasn't prepared for the results. My relationship with God has changed, again I know it had to, and we now have a huge challenge and adventure awaiting us.

So I ask you, yes all of you reading, please consider more than prayer. I am inviting you to move here and join us or give generously to this new Christian community called the deep. Just go to www.outofthedeep.com and find the link where you can join the team. I very much believe in the power of prayer, but I also wonder how many times WE are the answer to the prayer we are tossing up. Maybe you are the answer to our prayers, or to your own prayers for the deep community. I know God has gone before us into Muskegon, and now it is for us to follow Him.

The story needs action
Wallace D.

Branded

2007-11-21T22:33:00.000-05:00

31% of children in the United States are growing up in a single parent home! Please check out the Belmont Foundation for more info on ways to serve young people in need. One of my goals is to bring light to the similar darkness that can be found in Muskegon, so I would love to have you join me and the deep community in this dream chasing. There is much to do, many in need, so prayerfully you will dive in with us.

Heart Burned
Wallace D.

Day one of Freedom & Reflection

2007-11-19T11:44:00.000-05:00

So today is really the first day of my freedom from Panera, being that the weekend was pretty much a standard weekend. I began to feel, from the inside out, the difference last night. I did not begin to prepare myself, both mentally and physically, for getting up in the middle of the night for a ten+ hour day of bread running. I slept in until 6:30 and then began my day with quiet reading, tasty coffee, and healthy work for me. I have amassed so much learning in my 3+ years at Panera, but I would like to have my first retake be of the most common of observations.

How many napkins do you need to get you through the meal? I will give you 3, maybe 4 if you order one of the very few menu items that is a little bit more messy. So what is with 25-30 napkins piled high onto the table? At the end of the meal you have half scattered under the table and the other half possibly left for others to play with? I'm assuming there is an eatery, I have yet to visit, where they just give you a live animal, which you then have to kill and use the excessive napkins to soak up the blood? This is just one small way in which the human mind seems to disappear when entering a public place to eat. Someone decides to bring the newspaper into the restroom for comfort reading while discarding waste, which I fully understand. So logically, when finished, you should take the newspaper and jam it into the hole in the toilet? I have only eaten half of my bowl of soup, my sandwich filled me up, this I can understand. Should I assume that the half eaten broccoli cheddar bowl, with some other random treats in it now, should be left next to the soda fountain machine? I guess those bins clearly labeled trash, trays, and silver ware, are for something completely different. The large cardboard box with Christmas decorations on it labeled TOYS FOR TOTS, is in fact just a cover up for your used cups and for you to dump the rest of your coffee into. I'm sure the tots will fully appreciate your generous donation. Please don't feel embarrassed about your child all but urinating on the table, and then letting them wander off unsupervised so they can stick their chewed up goldfish crackers in the microwave. I have in fact spent the day away from my son so I can watch yours destroy everything in his path, as well as dump a half box of cheerios on the floor and then stomp them into the carpet. And yes, the menu display on your table is actually for your straw wrappers and used napkins, sorry if you confused it for information on the new products we have baked for you.

I have compiled quite a comedy routine from these happenings and many more that has entertained my friends, family, and fellow associates in the last few weeks of employment. But it is also a very sad reality that should be a bit embarrassing, don't you think?

More to come
Wallace D.

Belmont Foundation

2007-11-13T10:10:00.001-05:00

Please check out the Belmont Foundation, linked to the right, and consider how you can change the trajectory of the lives of kids growing up in single parent homes, or those growing up without a father.

"24.7 MILLION CHILDREN LIVE ABSENT OF THEIR BIOLOGICAL FATHER"

Wallace D.

The Switch

2007-11-13T09:41:00.000-05:00

I'll be looking to switch things up with the blog in the coming weeks, moving it to represent more of my life in broader terms. My links will move to more reading and writing specific places, so we'll see what happens over the next few weeks.

On a side note, I've enjoyed some very interesting conversations in the last couple of weeks that have highlighted much of the discussion in the book UNCHRISTIAN. I think some of the movements and feelings with the younger generation (16-35) are very scary to me as a pastor. But I also feel that it could be what the church might need to wake up and prayerfully step out of the bubble in which it often works from.

change is coming
Wallace D.

What's new

2007-11-10T14:44:00.000-05:00

Sawyer had a weigh in yesterday, and our little Michelin man is packing it on to the tune of 13lbs 7oz. His chunk is quite ticklish as well, which is the funniest thing watching him laugh so hard he forgets to breathe (only for a second then mom and dad back off so relax). Sarah is spending her Saturdays in Lansing for her master's course, so I've been enjoying daddy days on the weekend.

The deep is setting up for two weeks in a row of preview gatherings, starting tomorrow. Feel free to join us at the Omni fitness center in Muskegon for a snapshot of who we are.

This next week will be my last at Panera Bread, which I have much to talk on there, but I will download that after my time is complete.

I've been writing a lot of new stuff for my book, which will tie up many loose ends. I've gotten rid of misused material that may surface in other outlets. I've got word out to one publisher right now and will hand my work to another connection point in the coming days, so prayerfully it will land. I've enjoyed reading Cold Tangerines which has really affirmed and encouraged my life of writing. It is an extremely well written book and I'm sure we'll hear much from this new author in the years to come.

Still praying for financial provision for the future and dreaming about what is to come.
Wallace D.