Tuesday, November 15, 2005

One size fits all?

Time is flying isn't it? Sometimes I look at the clock and think it's lying to me, or cheating me at the least. I have enjoyed some time of catching up with friends from the east side and that has been refreshing as well as just plain fun. I've been really driven to learn as much as my puny mind can take in, yes even more so than usual. I've read and re-read some really challenging and also helpful books along with spending more time of listening. Listening to messages from many different pastors and thinkers and also thought provoking music ( Thought provoking to me anyway). And although my big 30th birthday was a while ago, I've been thinking a lot about my role in life, who am I? What am I doing here? where am I going? what am I moving towards? I've listened to a number of messages lately that have me wanting to punch the speaker in the face because they say what I know I need, yet I don't like the way it makes me feel. Shouldn't I know what I am doing by now, or at least have some freakin idea of what I should be doing? You look at people and think, "they are doing exactly what they are made to do," or that "no one could do that better than that person is doing." They seem to be right where they belong and they are doing what they ought to be doing. I mean people have job titles because of what their talents and giftings are, not just what they do but a good part of who they are, right? An artist, a teacher, a cook, a musician, a professional athlete. I mean this is what they are designed for and they are just living out their design and so we see them being their design. When people chase their passions and dreams, it takes them to something, to doing something. Even if they don't know exactly where they are going, they at least know what they are doing along the way, right? In the next series at Moto, called DIRT, we will be looking at two big questions that I feel God asks us, "Where are you and What are you doing here?" I guess I am supposed to lead the students through these questions and help them wrestle with these questions. Do I tell them I know who I'm following and where I am at this moment, but please don't ask me what I am I doing here, because I don't have a freakin clue. I can't even answer the simple questions, "What do you do, what is your job?" I left college knowing that I wasn't going to be a school teacher as I had originally began attending for. The problem is I never knew what I was leaving to. Did my gifts and talents drive me to Panera bread? To work a few days a week wondering what am I doing here, and am I utilizing my God given gifts and talents slicing this frickin turkey? I want more than anything for people to fall in love with Jesus and I spend most of the rest of my week trying to develop a place for middle schoolers to do that. But most of the time I want to invite someone else to do that, so that they will actually hear and experience a proper telling of God's story. I look in the eyes of the students and I don't so much see people wondering if they should commit their lives to Christ, but eyes that say this guy spitting into the microphone should be committed! I am not an accident, yet I am 30 and feel like I live like one. Jesus Christ did not die on the cross for you and I to go to heaven, but for us to have life and life to the fullest, right? What is heaven without life? Where are you? and what are you doing here? Great questions, great questions indeed.

Wallace D.

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