Muscled through the day with a nagging feeling in my spirit, I'm not sure what it is, but it's there. Grabbed a Java chip early this morning and then began my walk through what to do with yutes for this summer. We're planning on spending the summer hanging out for the most part and just learning what we're all about and what direction the ship is being steered. Spent time in thought the last few days while in Tahoe and continued that today in evaluation of the last several years of my ministry life, I come up with a few conclusions but more questions than actual conclusions. I wonder if I'm an actor who has had the opportunity to be a youth pastor, I have been blessed by God with a talent for acting and I really love letting that be a part of unleashing the love of God within life. Then along with that I love young people ( I love older people too but you know what I'm getting at) and I love sharing in life with them and sharing out of what God has done and continues to do in my life. Now here's where it gets tricky, I lead with an actor's heart of improvising, I can plan things ahead of time, but when we get to the plans I'm feeling we need to go a whole other direction. I sit back and listen to all the talk of postmodern, modern, boomers, gen ex, and all the other terms and verbage that gets disected and written about and I have to scratch my head in confusion. Strategies, planning, programs, and systems to try and reach a lost people for Christ? I read my bible and wonder what did Jesus do during the years of His life that aren't recorded in the bible, was he learning all the new stuff, scouting all the latest ministry designs, or working on his MAP? Was He taking classes through the denomination and turning in reports to the district guys with updates on how things are coming along? Was Peter His teaching pastor or His program director? Was Judas in charge of finances or maybe he was the program director and that's why he got frustrated with Jesus because He wouldn't stick with the program that was put in place? I read about Jesus walking around a lot and just hanging out with people, sharing in life and sharing about eternal life, was that before or after the worship set? He fed a lot of people more than once with very little bread and fish, was that a series they were in or did the props team come through in a pinch? I bet John the Baptist was the youth pastor, because he dressed crazy, was kind of an odd fella, and had cool illustrations like dunking people under water. I should probably get going, so as to read my latest book on building teams, small groups, or teaching more effectively. Or maybe I'll just be cutting edge and love God, then just improvise... but I might not spend enough time in the office or the denomination might not like that MAP. Was that not politically correct or maybe I sounded too democratic or not enough republican? I guess it's back to the drawing board.