Thursday, April 29, 2004

I want to be the light that

Well I haven't gotten to my blog since I've landed in G.R., but what can you do? It's been great catching up with family and friends for sure, but also kind of weird, my heart is kind of reeling through a lot of emotions. I don't know if I'll be able to lay them all down in this journal, but my mind has been playing the last year of my life over and over, touching on points of learning and points where I've missed the point. There is a part of me that feels like a failure, but I know taking risks for God in faith can never be a failure. I know it would be easy to look at the numbers in Real Life and say it is down, but when I look at the number of students who have done heart exams and either reconnected or just authentically connected with God, then I know that I stayed true to who God has called me to be. And as I look at the genuine community and movement that Fuel is becoming, I know God has used me in bringing a "family" together, to share in life and experience life together. My incredible wife reminded me of the fact that the students that are missing me and the people who have become family won't miss me so much as a pastor, but as a person, which is what it is all about. It's not that I've taught people, but that I've shared life and taught out of life and out of my heart, with what God has been teaching me, showing me, and growing in me, and I don't know how to do it any other way. There is a lot more on my heart, but it's too heavy to share, so I'll save it.

Any ways, tomorrow I'm going to catch up with my grandma Harrison and then the pink panther and fam are rolling into town, so I'm all fired up for that. We are going to share some life with the diggity and hopefully with the deurty one.

burns out your eyes cause I know there's little things about me that will sing in the silence.
Wallace D.

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